A Little Bit Of Something (On-Going)

#83

(Cace)

"Pangatlo'ng beses ka nang tumatawag simula nang umalis ka. Sabi ko naman sa'yo na ikalma mo muna ang sarili mo. I'm on my way to the hospital, sasamahan ko ang Mama ni Jonnie. Mag-focus ka muna sa training." Mom reprimanded me, siguro nga nakulitan na siya sa'kin. I was tasked to undergo training to sharpen my skills. Ni-enroll nga ako ni Daddy sa isa'ng globally recognized certification body sa Singapore. So I had to fly there to take the certification exam, but before that, kailangan ko muna'ng sumali sa 3-day training and lectures in preparation for the exam.

     "Thanks, Mom."

     "I'm a nurse, baka nakakalimutan mo. Sanay ako'ng mag-alaga at mag-monitor ng pasyente sa ICU."

   Ngumiti ako.

     "At isa pa, parang anak ko na rin si Jonnie, higit sa lahat, she's someone so dear to you. Aalagaan ko siyempre ang manugang ko, kaya huwag ka muna masyado'ng mag-alala. Mas may alam ako kesa sa'yo sa pagbabantay ng pasyente. Okay?" Mom tried to cheer me up. My family loves Jonnie that after the accident, they all got worried and asked me questions. Mom knew I was still shock and it's hard for me to talk to others, so she did in my behalf. As I was busy looking after Jonnie's family, my own mother didn't stop looking after my well-being too.

     "You also need to do something for yourself, Cace."

     "Opo. Thank you po, ulit."

     "Sige na. Nasa loob na'ko ng kotse, call me once your training is done. And don't forget to eat and rest."

     "Opo, Mommy."

   There was already progress in Jonnie's condition before I left. She was starting to respond to pain and even had seizures, ang sabi ng mga doctor niya, side effect 'yun ng mga drugs na nasa system niya while she's under a medically-induced coma. We should expect it to happen, now that they reversed her coma state.

   I saw it with my own eyes, and I felt so useless because I can't do anything to help her.

   At ngayon, mapapalayo pa ako sa kanya nang lima'ng araw.

   Hindi ako masyado'ng nakapag-focus sa una'ng araw ng training, kung saan-saan napupunta ang utak ko. Hindi rin ako agad na nakatulog sa gabi'ng 'yun.

   The next day, nakapag-adjust na'ko, saka ko pa lang dinamdam ang sinabi ni Mommy. She's right, I need to pass the exam and get the certification. This will boost my credentials, this will serve me in the long course. This is something I should do for my career, and for myself.

   I still think about Jonnie and kept updated with her current condition, but at the same time I focused on my goal that time.

   Natapos ang training at naghahanda na ako para sa exam. I spent the night reviewing, parang sasabak ulit ako sa board exams. Mom updated me that Jonnie's fine and is still progressing so I don't have to worry. I don't know if it's true, or they're just trying not to ruin my focus. Pero kung totoo man 'yun o hindi, sigurado ako na kailangan ko'ng maipasa ang assessment. Kailangan ko'ng tapusin 'to para makauwi na 'ko.

—

Bago ako umalis papunta'ng testing center, pinanuod ko muna ang video na ni-send ni Jonnie sa'kin. Gusto ko lang marinig ang boses niya, alam ko na kung gising siya, she won't stop sending me videos of her cheering for me. She'll send lots of selfies and emoji filled messages.

   Dad called me after the exam, sabi ko sa kanya hinihintay ko nalang ang resulta. It will come out an hour later kaya nasa malapit na cafe lang ako. I was browsing through near places I could visit, balak ko kasi'ng maglakad-lakad saglit.