Kili: (Walking to Mirkwood)
Fili: Where are you going?
Kili: To Mirkwood! Why?
Fili: No reason! What's that in your hand?
Kili: Nothing!
Fili: No it isn't! Give it here!
Kili: No!
Fili: It's a letter! To Tauriel!!! (Opens it)
Kili: No! Stop!
Fili: (Reads aloud) "When I look into your eyes I see light. Your face is the definition of beauty. Love is more important than gold. Will you be my Valentine?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Kili: (Goes red)
Fili: Awwww... My baby brother fancies an elf! HAHAHAHA!!!!
Kili: Says the guy who fancies...
Fili: Fancies who?
Kili: Um... GOLLUM!!!!
Fili: What?!
Kili: It's true...
Fili: You're so weird... (Gives back the letter) Good luck! You're going to need it!
Kili: (Walks into Thranduil's kingdom)
Thranduil: (Dancing with lotr_love)
Kili: Wasup?
Thranduil: DWARF IN MY KINGDOM!!!!! ARGH!!!!!
Kili: ARGH!!!
Thranduil: Naaa! I don't care really! It's Valentine's Day!!! Let's be friends!
Kili: Ok... TAURIEL!!!! TAURIEL!!!!
Tauriel: WHAT?! Oh, hey Kili!
Kili: (Goes red) Um... I brought you something...
Tauriel: Oh? What is it?
Kili: Here... (Hands her the letter)
Tauriel: (Reads it) Awwwww! That's so sweet!
Kili: Well, will you?
Tauriel: I'm really sorry but I promised Legolas that I would be his Valentine...
Kili: Oh... that's ok... (Sad face)
Tauriel: Sorry... maybe next year? I still got you a present though! (Gives Kili a box)
Kili: (Opens it) ARGH!!!
Gollum: (Jumps out throwing hearts in the air) SHARE THE LOVE!!!
Kili: ARGH!!! WHAT THE HECK?!
Tauriel: Hahahha!!! That was great!!!!
Kili: That was mean...
Tauriel: Oh come on... cheer up!
Kili: Thanks! (Smiles)
Tauriel: (Kisses Kili on the cheek) Happy Valentine's Day!
Kili: You too! I'm going now! Bye! (Walks away)
Fili: How was it?
Kili: Great! But she's Legolas's Valentine!
Fili: Awwwww... poor baby boo!!!
Kili: I got you a present... (Hands Fili box trying not to laugh)
Fili: Um... ok... (Opens it) ARGH!!!
Gollum: (Jumps out throwing hearts in the air) SHARE THE LOVE!!! Oh! Hello precious!! (Jumps into the river and rides on dolphins to Lake-town)
Fili: Well, that was super weird, random and pretty funny! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kili: HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lindir: Ha! Lol!
Fili: Hey Lindir! Did you get a Valentine?
Lindir: Well, I did but I expect it was from my friend, Itarilde, so I'm not left out! Last year I didn't get one and I sort of went mental... It was weird!
Kili: Ok! Well that's nice of her!
Fili: Alright! Let's go!
(Lake-town)
Bard: All by myself!!!
Gollum: Why does it cry, precious?
Bard: Because I'm all by myself!!!!
Gollum: Ok! I don't care... (Sneaks away)
parallelamy: Hey Bard!!! I got you a present!
Bard: Hallelujah!!!!
parallelamy: Here! (Hands him present)
Bard: OMG!!! It's a coat like my one but sparkly and has detachable wings!!!! Awww! That's so kind of you!
parallelamy: That's ok! I knew you'd love it!!!! It's Gimli's new design!
Bard: Wow!!! This is such a privilege!!!
parallelamy: I've got to go! See ya!!!
Bard: Bye!!! Thanks again!!!
Gollum: (Gags) EWWWW! All this love is making us sick!!! Blaaaaa! Blaaaa!
Bard: Don't throw up on my coat!!!!
Gollum: We won't, stressy!!!!
Bard: Good!!
Bain: Hey dad! Err... What are you wearing?!
Bard: Oh, parallelamy got it for me!!! Isn't it amazing? (Twirls)
Bain: This is so embarrassing...
Bard: Well, that's rude!
Lindir: That is pretty embarrassing...
Bain: Thanks, Lindir!
Bard: Ugh. I'm just gonna go show Sigrid and Tilda! They'll love it!
Bain: They really won't...
Lindir: I agree!
Bain: I'm gonna go shoot at Smaug...
Smaug: Oh not this again... I think I should be paid!
Bain: You already have a whole load of gold!
Smaug: Well, Thorin made if pretty clear that it was his gold!
Bain: Oh... well, I'm sure that the master could give you some gold! He has tonnes!!!
Smaug: Well, thanks. That would help a lot!
Lindir: Lol!
YOU ARE READING
Middle Earth Mayhem
FanfictionFunny short stories about Middle Earth Characters! Enjoy!