(Marketplace)
Azog: (Shopping) I'll have this please! (Holds up apron)
Sauron: That'll be twenty pounds please!
Azog: There you go! (Hands over money)
Sauron: You know, I weave these aprons from the dried skin of my enemies?
Azog: It's so smooth! How do you do that?
Sauron: Sometimes, (Whispers) I weave in some elf hair as well!
Azog: Wow! I must try that! Thanks! (Walks off)
Lindir: (Shouting) Come get your chocolates here! Only one hundred pounds a box!!!
Elrond: (Next to him) That's too expensive, Lindir! No one will buy them!!
Lindir: (Moans) Fine!!! (Shouting) Three pounds a box!!!
Azog: (Sees the chocolate) Hmmmm... Perhaps I could get some for my wargs! (Starts walking over)
Galadriel: (Grabs him) Wait! I need to speak to you! (Looks at apron) Nice apron!
Azog: (Moans) No more dares! Please!!!
Galadriel: This is the last one, (Whispers) for now... I promise!
Azog: Okay good!
Galadriel: Do it for the readers!
Azog: What readers?!
Galadriel: Only I will ever know! (Creepily slides off)
Azog: You didn't tell me the dare!
Galadriel: Oh yeah!!! (Comes back) It's from zobro123!
Azog: Okay.
Galadriel: It says, wow I can't wait to see this!
Azog: Is that what it says?
Galadriel: No! It says that you and all your orcs have to start a flash mob in Rivendell!
Azog: That's good! We've been practising our dancing!!
Galadriel: Hahaha! Okay!!
(Later in Rivendell)
Arwen: What a beautiful evening!
Elrond: Yes, my daughter! It's so quiet! (Sees someone on the hill) Who's that?
Azog: COME FORTH MY ARMIES!!!!
Army: (Marches into Rivendell)
Elrond: Now? It's almost night time! Can't we do this tomorrow?!
Arwen: What are we going to do?!
Elrond: (Blows a horn) TO BATTLE!!!
Elves: (Run towards the orcs)
Azog: (Starts singing Wannabe by Spice Girls)
Yo, I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want.
Army: (Start tapping feet)
So tell me what you want
What you really really want.
Azog: I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want.
Army: So tell me what you want
What you really really want.
Azog: I wanna huh I wanna huh
I wanna huh I wanna hug
I really really really wanna Zig a Zig ah!
Elrond: (Clutching ears) What is this?!
Lindir: (Dancing)
Elrond: Stop!
Lindir: I can't!!!
Army: (Breakdancing)
Azog: If you want ma future
Forget ma past!
If you wanna get with me
Better make it fast!
Elves: (Watch) What do we do now?
Elrond: Hold your fire!!!
Army: Now don't go wasting
Ma precious time!
Gollum: (Jumps out from cave) Did someone say precious, my precious?
Elrond: They did.
Azog: Get your act together
We could be just fine!
Arwen: (Starts dancing)
Elrond: No! Don't dance!!!
Arwen: I can't help it!! The tune is too catchy!!!
Elrond: ARGH! ITS POISONING OUR MINDS!!! (Starts dancing) NO!!
Army: (Flips) I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want!
Azog: So tell me what you want
What you really really want!
Elrond: ARGH!! (Sings) HOW LONG IS THIS SONG?! (Puts hands over mouth) ARGH!!!
(Ten hours later)
Azog: If you wanna be ma lover!!!
Elrond: (Stops dancing) Phew! It's over!!
Lindir: That was scary!
Azog: RETREAT!!!
Army: (Runs away)
Arwen: Well that was unexpected!
Galadriel: I recorded the whooole thing!!
Elrond: Didn't you start dancing?
Galadriel: (Takes out ear plugs) What did you say?
Elrond: Ahhh! Good idea!
Arwen: Well, I must get some rest! (Goes to bed)
Galadriel: So must I! (Leaves)
Elrond: Goodbye, Lindir! (Leaves)
Lindir: Oh, all alone! (Starts breakdancing and singing)
Yo, I'll tell you what I want
What I really really want!
Everyone: LINDIR!!! SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!!
Lindir: Lol!
Hey guys!
I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I just want to say that my last chapter is next and I want it to be as good and funny as it can so I thought it would be a good to grab some ideas from you guys and include them in the last chapter! Thanks! Leave them in the comments!!!
~Lindir
YOU ARE READING
Middle Earth Mayhem
FanfictionFunny short stories about Middle Earth Characters! Enjoy!
