Legolas: (Practicing his skateboarding skills)
Saruman: (Breakdances over to Legolas) Yo, mr!
Legolas: Um... Hi?
Saruman: Galadriel has stopped being the dare queen!
Legolas: So?
Saruman: I have a dare for you so listen up 'cos I'm not gonna repeat myself!
Legolas: Oh god...
Saruman: Dis is from Doctor_Space! You have to cut yo Pap's hair!
Legolas: (Goes pale) But!
Saruman: Yo wanna know why dey call me Saruman? Because I'm Saru da man!!!
Legolas: He's gonna eat me!!!
Saruman: You what, mate?!
Legolas: My ada loves his hair!!!!
Saruman: So what?
Legolas: I CAN'T CUT IT!!!!
Saruman: Think of all those disappointed fans out there! (Looks dramatically into the distance)
Legolas: (Looks where he's looking) What are you looking at?
Saruman: The future...
Legolas: Ok... Have fun with that... (Runs over to Thranduil)
Legolas: Ada?
Thranduil: Yes, my little blossom?
Legolas: Um... Can I cut your hair?
Thranduil: ...
Legolas: (Looks hopeful) Well?
Thranduil: Well, let's see... NOOOO!!!!
Legolas: PLEASE!!!! IF I DON'T I'LL LOSE ALL MY FANS!!!!! (Starts crying into his father's robes)
Thranduil: GOOD!!! (Walks away)
Legolas: Fine then...
(Later)
Thranduil: (Sleeping fabulously)
Tauriel: (Whispering) What are you doing?
Legolas: Going to give him a haircut!
Tauriel: Cool beans!
Legolas: Shh! (Starts snipping Thranduil's hair off)
Tauriel and Legolas: (Snigger)
(Later)
Legolas: Done!
Tauriel: Mwahaha!!! Mwahahahahahahahahaaa!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Thranduil: Wha? What's going on? (Sees scissors in Legolas's hand) You didn't!
Legolas: (Smirks)
Thranduil: (Runs to a mirror) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! MY HAIR!!! MY FABULOUS PRECIOUS HAIR!!!!!
Gollum: Did someone say precious?
Thranduil: (Starts crying) I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR A WIG!!!!!! A WIG!!!!!!!
Legolas: What about this one? (Holds up a bright orange wig)
Thranduil: It's it's... FABULOUS!!!!!!
(At Hobbiton)
Saruman: Yo, Sam!
Sam: (Wearing sun glasses) Yo!!!
(Both start breakdancing)
Saruman: Back to da point! I have a dare for you from Doctor_Space!!! It says... (Reads off ElFone) Stay away from Frodo for a day!
Sam: NO!!!! NOT MY PRECIOUS!!!!! HE'LL DIE WITHOUT ME!!!!
Saruman: Dude! We're not in Mordor anymore! Calm it, man!
Sauron: I HAVE COME TO TAKE OVER MIDDLE EARTH!!! ALL SHALL FALL!!!! (Looks at Hobbiton) Awwwww! This place is adorable!!!!!
Bilbo: My evil over lord! Would you care to join me for a cup of tea?
Sauron: Do you have earl grey?
Bilbo: Of course!
Sauron: Oh, well! I'd love to!
Saruman: Do da dare!
Sam: NOOOOOO!
Saruman: Fo da fans!!!
Gollum: Potatoes!!!! I love them!!! They are my precious!!!
Sam: I told you they were nice!!!!
Gollum: STUPID FAT HOBBIT!!!!
Sam: Okay! I'll do the dare!!!
(One minute until the end of the day)
Sam: This was actually easy!!!
Frodo: Hey Sam, I haven't seen you all day!
Sam: Noooooooo!!! You ruined my day!!!!!! (Runs away)
Frodo: Wow!!!
Saruman: It was a dare!
Frodo: What was?
Saruman: He had to stay away from you for a whole day!
Frodo: Oh... Ok!
Saruman: (Walks home) Saruman has left the building!!!
YOU ARE READING
Middle Earth Mayhem
FanfictionFunny short stories about Middle Earth Characters! Enjoy!