Middle Earth Mayhem

Braces

Smaug: (Crying in gold) WHY WHY????

Galadriel: What's wrong?

Smaug: It's that dwarf, Thorin!! He said that my teeth stick out when I growl!

Galadriel: Awwww... (Strokes his head) Poor Smaugy Waugy!!!

Smaug: Never call me that again.

Galadriel: Awwwww... Guess what?!

Smaug: (Happy) What?

Galadriel: greenleafgirl222 has a dare for you!

Smaug: (Bursts into tears) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Galadriel: But I think you'll feel better after!!!

Smaug: (Wipes away tear) What is it then?

Galadriel: She dares you to get braces!!!

Smaug: What are 'bra-ces'?

Galadriel: They make ya teeth strait!

Smaug: Ooooo! Sounds fun!!!

(Later)

Smaug: Iluvatar damn these teeth!

Galadriel: What's wrong?

Smaug: I have goat stuck in me teeth!!!

Galadriel: Look! Come here! I've got a special dragon sized toothpick for you! (Hands him giant toothpick)

Smaug: (Takes it and uses it) Thanks but I could have used my talons!

Galadriel: WHY WERE YOU MOANING THEN?!

Smaug: I couldn't be bothered!

Galadriel: I CARVED THAT FROM HAND OUT OF BILBOS MAHOGANY!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MAHOGANY COSTS?!

Smaug: (Sassy) Does it look like I'm a mahogany type of person?

Galadriel: WELL IT COSTED MY WHO DIAMOND SOFA!!!

Smaug: I don't like diamonds!!!

Galadriel: WELL I DO!!! BE GRATEFUL OF YOUR HAND CARVED TOOTHPICK!!!

Smaug: Okay! (Rolls eyes)

(Bag-end)

Bilbo: (Drinking tea with Lindir on the diamond sofa)

Lindir: Well, I do like this sofa! Where did you get it?

Bilbo: Galadriel gave it to me for some mahogany!

Lindir: Mahogany! And I suppose you have a lot of mahogany spare?

Bilbo: Plenty!

Lindir: Why would she want mahogany?

Bilbo: That's what I wondered!

Lindir: Oh well! I'd do anything for a sofa like this!!

Bilbo: Well, it's mine! My own! My precious!

Gollum: (Jumps out of sofa) Stop stealing our lines, Baggins!!!

Bilbo: ARGH!!!!!

Lindir: HAHAHA!!! LOL!!!