Middle Earth Mayhem

Gollum's first date

Gollum: (Singing) Fishy fishy is a fishy! I will eat the fishy fishy!!!

Galadriel: Um... Good song thingy.

Gollum: Why thank you, precious!!! I wrote it myself!!!

Galadriel: I can tell...

Gollum: Don't be mean to us!!

Galadriel: I have a dare for you from Charlotte1928!

Gollum: What's a dare?

Galadriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Gollum: What?

Galadriel: Everyone knows what a dare is!!!!

Gollun: Well, we don't!!!

Galadriel: Just do what I say!! You have to... Ahahaha!

Gollum: What?

Galadriel: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You have to ask out Gandalf!!

Gollum: We don't wants to!!!

Galadriel: Well you have to!!!

Gollum: That's not fair, precious!!

Galadriel: Do it or I'll make you into shoes!!!

Gollum: ARGH!!! PSYCHOPATH!!! Alright, I'll do it!!!

Galadriel: Good!

(Later)

Gandalf: (Bowling with hedgehogs with Saruman and Radagast)

Gollum: SCREEEEECH!!!! (Jumps on Gandalf's head)

Gandalf: (Running around) ARGH!!! GET IT OFF!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! (Starts hitting Gollum with his staff)

Gollum: ARGH!!! STOP!!!

Gandalf: (Stops) Gollum? What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm bowling?!

Gollum: Hahaha!! I want to ask you something!!

Gandalf: Go on!! Tell me then!!

Gollum: Will you go out with me?

Gandalf: What?!

Gollum: Please?

Gandalf: Oh I see! This is one of Galadriel's dares, isn't it? (Approaches Gollum with his staff)

Gollum: (Scared) I don't know what you're talking about!!

Gandalf: Oh I think you do!!! Well, you can go and tell her that I don't want to!!!

Gollum: PLEASE!!! SHES GOING TO TURN ME INTO SHOES!!!!!

Gandalf: Oo!! Perhaps she'll let me borrow them!!

Gollum: ARGH!!! You're all psychopaths!!!! (Runs away and hides behind Frodo)

Frodo: Hey, Gollum!

Gollum: Hide me!!!

Frodo: Only if you give back my finger!!!

Gollum: Ok! (Gives Frodo his finger)

Frodo: Thanks!! (Glues his finger back on)

Gollum: Wait! You can do that?

Frodo: Yeah! It's called 'Flesh glue'!!!

Gollum: Ewwwww! That's gross!!!

Frodo: You're the one who eats raw flesh!!!

Gollum: But it's juicy!!!

Frodo: (Holds up a potato)

Gollun: WE WANTS IT CHIPS!!!!

Frodo: Go and ask Sam!!! Now, FETCH!!! (Throws potato into Sam's garden)

Sam: Oi!!!!

Frodo: Sorry!!

Sam: That's ok, mate!!

Gollum: MAKE US CHIPS, STUPID FAT HOBBIT!!!! (Shoves PO-TAY-TO in Sam's face)

Sam: No!!! Especially after you called me that!!

Gollum: I'm sorry!!! Please may we have some chips, clever, thin hobbit?

Sam: Oh, alright!

Gollum: We loves you, potato Sam!!!!

Galadriel: GOLLUM!!! I WANT SOME SHOES!!!

Gollum: Nanananana!! I'm getting chips!!!

Galadriel: I want some!!!

Gollum: It can if it forgives us!!!

Galadriel: Okay!

(All eat chips)