Middle Earth Mayhem

The Ironman

Frodo: (Putting another plaster on Legolas)

Legolas: THE PAIN!!!! IT BURNS!!!

Frodo: Stop over-reacting! It's just a cut!!!

Legolas: THE PAIN!!!

Frodo: Oh gosh!! Save me!

Sam: (Bursts in) ILL SAVE YOU MR FRODO!!!

Frodo: I'm okay!

Sam: Oh! Hey Legolas!

Legolas: ARGH!!! THE PAIN!!!

Sam: Okay... I'm just gonna go!

Galadriel: WAIT!!!

Legolas: ARGH!!! (Runs and hides)

Frodo: See? All better!

Sam: ITS THE CRAZY WOMAN!!!!

Galadriel: UGH! I'm not crazy! Hahaha! (Wide eyes) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Sam: She's crazy!

Frodo: (Nods)

Galadriel: Anyway... I have a dare for you from HiFunctioningHobbit!

Frodo: Okay...

Galadriel: HAHAHAHHA! You'll never be able to do this!!

Sam: What? What is it?

Galadriel: This is way to hard for you!

Sam: TELL US!!!

Galadriel: Okay okay! Keep your wig on!!

Sam: This isn't a wig! (Strokes hair) My precious...

Frodo: ARGH!!! ITS GOLLUM!!!

Galadriel: Calm down everyone! Wow! Hobbits are super weird! Okay your dare is to compete in a full Ironman!!

Frodo: Cool!!! I love Ironman!!! He's my favourite Avenger!!

Galadriel: This isn't about the Avengers, but I do love him too!

Frodo: YAY!!! We're so alike!!

Galadriel: Er... no. Please can we just get on with this!??

Sam: So... what is an Ironman?

Galadriel: It's a race!!!

Sam: (Scared) Why's it called an Ironman?

Galadriel: I guess you have to be Ironman to do it! You have to swim, cycle and run!

Sam: SWIM?!

Frodo: I HAD TO RESCUE HIM LAST TIME HE TRIED SWIMMING!

Sam: SHUT UP!!! You would too!!!

Galadriel: Well, it's lucky you'll be with a professional!

Frodo: What?

Galadriel: (Holds up Gollum) GOLLUM!!!

Gollum: We doesn't want to do the nasty race with the stupid fat hobbitses!!!!

Galadriel: This is your dare too!!!

Gollum: Well we doesn't want to do it!!!!

Galadriel: DO IT!!!

Gollum: (Jumps on Frodo) MASTER SAVE US!!!

Frodo: Come on then!!! We can swim in the river!!

(At the river)

Sam: (Dips toe in) ARGH!!! MY TOE!! ITS FROZEN!!!

Frodo: (Pushes Sam in) WEEEE!!

Gollum: TIMBER!!!

Sam: ARGH!!! (Drowns)

Gollum: WE WILL SAVE YOU!!! (Dives in and rescues Sam)

Sam: (Coughing) Thanks!

Gollum: Look! You hobbits wear these!! (Holds up armbands) ILL PULL YOU UP THE RIVER!!!

Frodo: Okay!

Gollum: Come on!!

(An hour later)

Gollum: (Dying) THOSE HOBBITSES ARE SOOOO FAT AND HEAVY!!!

Frodo: Thanks Gollum! You saved us!!!

Gollum: You're welcome!!

Sam: Now the bikes!!

Frodo: (Gets on bike and then falls over)

Gollum: This is gonna take a while...

(Later after many falls)

Frodo: We've done it!!!

Sam: Let's run!! We're actually good at this!!

(Later)

Sam: (Dragging himself along with his hands) Almost. Done.

Frodo: (Cross the line) We've done it! It's over!

Sam: (Gets up and starts partying)

Legolas: Pa! That's easy! I could've done that in half the time!

Sam: Go on then!!

Legolas: Um.. I just ate and I can't swim after eating!!!

Sam: Sure..

Lindir: Lol!