Middle Earth Mayhem

Defabuloused

Merry: Hey, Pip?

Pippin: (Stuffing face with mushrooms) Yeah?

Merry: Ya don't suppose I could have one?

Pippin: NEGATORY!

Merry: Woah! Only asking!

Pippin: They're mine, my own, my precious! (Strokes possessively)

Merry: (Backs away) Okay... (Bumps into Galadriel) WHO DAT?! (Ninja pose)

Galadriel: (Possessed) HOW DARE YOU STEP ON MY TOE?!

Merry: Argh!! Pip!!! She's crazy!!!

Galadriel: (Coughs) Oh sorry.

Pippin: Hello, mi lady!!!

Galadriel: Seriously, why does everyone say it like that?!

Pippin: One word- Legolas.

Merry: (Sniggers)

Galadriel: Stop.

Merry: Okay, we're sorry... MI LADY!!!

Galadriel: RIGHT!!! THATS IT!!!

Pippin: (Bursts into laughter)

Merry: (Rolls around)

Galadriel: It's not even that funny!!!! STOP IT!!! STOP!!!

Pippin: Okay okay! (Wipes tear) What did you want anyway?

Merry: Dare?

Galadriel: You guess correct!

Merry: To be honest, we don't even have to guess anymore.

Pippin: Yeah we see you and we're like, "Dares!"

Merry: I am! You're not.

Pippin: Yes I am!!

Merry: Why did you ask why she came then?! Idiot! (Rolls eyes)

Galadriel: Okay, so here's the dare! It's from MedlinnielRivendell and it says...

Pippin: YEEEEEEEEES?

Galadriel: Oh gosh! Steal Thranduil's elk and remove all the fabulousness!

Merry: (Gulps) We're not gonna survive this...

Pippin: He's gonna kill us.

Galadriel: Chop chop!!! Elks don't de-fabulous themselves!!!

(Mirkwood)

Pippin: Okay Merry, you distract the guards and I'll grab the elk!

Merry: Okay! (Sneaks over to front gates) COOEEEEY!!!! OVER HERE!!! (Starts dancing like Bon Jovi)

Bon Jovi: (In tree singing) OOOOO WE'RE HALF WAY THERE!!! OOOO LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!!

Guards: ARGH!!! ARREST THEM!!! (Chase them)

Pippin: (Steals elk) OK!!! LETS MOVE IT OUT PEOPLE!!!

(Later)

Merry: Phew! Managed to get rid of those guards! Thanks Jon!

Bon Jovi: NO PROBLEM GUYS!!! (Flys away in a flock flying guitars)

Merry: That was normal.

Pippin: Ok! Now to de-fabulous this creature!

Merry: (Starts doing a voodoo chicken dance around the elk)

Elk: (Scared) Moo.

Pippin: You're doing it wrong! (Undoes plaits in elks fur) There!

Merry: Oh.

Galadriel: (Taking pictures of Merry's voodoo dance) Hey Gollum! Another one for the album!!!

Gollum: Bless us and splash us, precious!!!

Thranduil: (Bursts in) WHERE IS MY EL- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Elk: Moo.

Merry: Nothing.

Pippin: Yeah nothing.

Thranduil: HES GOT NO FAB!!! (Cries and hugs elk) HE IS LOST!!!

Merry: Calm down dude!

Thranduil: IM GONNA SHAVE OFF YOUR FOOT HAIR AND SELL IT TO THE LAKETOWN MASTER AS A TEA COSY!!!!

Pippin: NOOOOO!!

Thranduil: THEN HE WILL NOT REALISE ITS A TEA COSY AND USE IT AS A TISSUE INSTEAD!!!

Pippin: NOOO!!!

Thranduil: AND THEN YOUR FEET WILL BE COLD!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Pippin: HES CRAZY!!!

Merry: HOBBIT ABUSE!!!

Pippin: IM GONNA CALL THE RSPH!!!

Thranduil: What the RSPH?

Pippin: Royal Society Protection of Hobbits!!!

Thranduil: I believe you've made that up!!

Pippin: Nope!!!

Smaug: (Bursts in) Did somebody call RSPH?!

Pippin: WE DID!!!

Smaug: Well I'm here to save you!!!

Merry: Yay!!!

Legolas: I'm here too to save you!!

Thranduil: You traitor!!!

Legolas: (Arrests Thranduil)

Thranduil: NO!! Isn't there a Royal Society Protection of Elks?!

Smaug: NO!!

Pippin and Merry: (Start dancing around in a circle) LALALALALA!! WE ARE FREEEEEEE!!!

Lindir: LO-

Elrond: (Ambushes Lindir) DONT YOU DARE!!!

Lindir: LOL!!

Elrond: RIGHT THATS IT!!! NO MORE POCKET MONEY FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN!!

Lindir: NOOOOO!! (Dragged away)

Hello!
I'm just calling to say that I won't be taking any more dares as I am approaching my final chapter! Sorry! But do not fret! There will be a book two!!! Thanks for all the lovely comments so far!!

~Lindir