Middle Earth Mayhem

Bombur goes on a diet

Bombur: (Stuffing his face with hamburgers) NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!!

Bard: NO!!! MORE!!! HAMBURGERS!!! (Kicks the plate off a cliff)

Bombur: NOOOOOOO!!!

Bard: YOU NEED TO EAT VEGETABLES!!!! HERE!!! (Shoves veg in his face)

Bombur: But it's green!

Bard: AND?

Bombur: I don't like green stuff!

Bard: TOO BAD!!! NOW EAT IT!!!!

Bombur: (Nibbles it) BLAH!!! (Runs off the cliff and finds the hamburgers) NOMNOMNOMNOM!!!

Bard: (Chases him) DONT YOU DARE!!!! (Throws a baseball bat at him) SMASH UP THE HAMBURGERS!!!!

Bombur: NO!!

Bard: YES!!!

Bombur: BUT THEYRE HELPLESS!!!

Bard: NO THEY ARENT!!! THEY ARE THE EVIL WORK OF SAURON!!!! THEY ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!

Bombur: (Crying) Fine... (Smashes them up) YEAH!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!

Bard: GOOD!!!

Bombur: That was so... FUN!!!!!

Bard: DO IT AGAIN!!! (Dumps good in front of Bombur)

Bombur: DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!

Bard: GOOD!!!!

(This repeats for quite a while)

Bard: I TOLD YOU THIS DIET WOULD WORK!!!! EAT THIS AND YOULL BE DONE!! (Gives him a grape)

Bombur: NOMNOMNOMNOM! (Looks in a mirror) IM SO THIN!!! AND GOOD LOOKING!!!

Bard: YES, YES YOU ARE!!!

Bombur: Look at all dis muscle! FILI AND KILI!!! GET OUT MA WAY!!! THERES A NEW DWARF IN TOWN!!!

Fili: Wait, who are you?

Bombur: It's me!

Kili: Who?

Bombur: BOMBUR!!!

Fili: Ignore this stranger, brother. He's just playing! Yo mind tricks won't work on me!!!

Kili: Or me! (Swaggers away)

Bombur: AHAHAHA!!!

Bard: AHAHAHAHA!!!

Lindir: Lol! I thinnest than all you dwarves!

Bard: COME HERE YOU LITTLE WEAKLING!!!!!!!!

Lindir: NO!!!

Bard: (Headlocks Lindir) FIFTY PRESS-UPS!!! GO!!!

Lindir: (Does press-ups) One... Two... Three... (Falls on his face)

Bard: GET UP!!!!

Legolas: Watch this! (Does press-ups)

Bard: NOBODY LIKES A SHOWOFF!!!! GO AWAY!!!!

Legolas: (Grumpy) FINE!!!

Bard: KEEP GOING!!!

Lindir: One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven... Eight...