Middle Earth Mayhem

The Most Random Thing you've Ever Read

Bofur: (Grooming his pony) Who's a good boy? You are!

Kili: Hey Bofur!

Fili: Yeah, hey!

Bofur: What do you lads want?

Fili: We thought of a dare for you!

Bofur: (Sighs) Go on then!

Kili: You have to ride past Bag End shouting 'Angry Chickens'!

Bofur: Ok... that's really weird but... ok!

Fili: This is gonna be great! Popcorn? (Offers Kili popcorn)

Kili: Thanks!

Fili: Did you know we have a sister called Lili?

Kili: No we don't! That was one of Balin's jokes!

Fili: Oh! I so stupid! (Makes stupid face)

Kili: (Facepalms)

Bofur: Should I go now?

Bofur: Run, random pony! Show us the meaning of haste! Wait. I sounded like Gollum then. CREEPY!!

Kili: Just go...

Bofur: ONWARD!!!!

(Majestically gallops to Hobbiton)

Bilbo: (Eating scones with Mary Berry) NOMNOMNOMNOM!!!

Mary Berry: Eat with you mouth shut. It's very disgusting.

Bilbo: (Mouthful) Sorry! (Spits on Mary)

Mary: Ugh! Please don't speak with your mouth full!

Bofur: (Gallops past them) ANGRY CHICKENS!!!

Mary: (Stands up) HOOLIGAN!!!!!

Bilbo: Wha???? Was that Bofur?

Bofur: (Gallops back to Erebor) Did it!!!

Thorin: What did you do?

Bofur: Oh! Your nephews gave me a dare!

Thorin: Typical! (Rolls eyes and walks away)

Kili: Lol! That was amazing!

Mary Berry: ARGH!!!! You ruined my tea party!!!!! ATTACK!!!!!

(An army of Bilbos attack Erebor)

Bilbos: ARGH!!!!!! (Smash up the mountain)

Mary Berry: NOBODY INTERRUPTS MY AFTERNOON TEA!!!!!

Thorin: FALL BACK!!! (Signals to the dwarves)

Mary Berry: GET THEM!!!

Bilbos: ATTACK!!!! (Break down the walls)

Bofur: THEYRE BREAKING THROUGH!!!

Bilbos: ARGH!!!!

Smaug: I'll save you, dwarves! (Squishes the Bilbos)

Mary Berry: Nooooooooooooo!!!! Not my precious army!!!!

Gollum: PRECIOUS!!!!! (Jumps on Mary Berry)

Mary Berry: ARGH!!! GET IT OFF!!!!

Smaug: HAHAHAHA!!!

Lindir: (Riding Thranduil's elk) LOL!!!