Middle Earth Mayhem

The Laketown Master's first kiss

Bard: (Casually fishing)

Galadriel: (Silently creeps up behind Bard and pushes him) BOO!

Bard: (Bellyflops into the water) ARGH!!! ITS SO COLD!!!! HELP ME!!! I'M DROWNING!!!!!

Galadriel: (Dyes on the floor laughing her head off) BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'M CRYING!!

Bard: Ugh! Help me up!!!

Galadriel: (Gives him her hand)

Bard: (Pulls her in) BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Galadriel: (Screams and splashes Bard) ARGH!!! I HATE YOU!!!!

Bard: REVENGE!!! (Climbs out and helps Galadriel up) What do you want?

Galadriel: (Growls and shakes herself dry) I have been sent to give you a dare from parallelamy!

Bard: Na a! I'm totally done with dares!! Last time I threw up!! And on Thranduil, for that matter...

Galadriel: BWAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!! WHAT WAS HIS FACE LIKE??! I WISH I WAS THERE!!!

Bard: No, no you don't! Anyway, what's this dare?

Galadriel: (Starts giggling) You have to...

Bard: (Holds breath) Yes?

Galadriel: KISS THE LAKETOWN MASTER!!!! BWAHAAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

Bard: (Screams like a girl and runs into the lake)

Galadriel: COWARD!!!!

Bard: NO I'M NOT!!!! I KILLED A DRAGON!!!! A DRAGON!!!

Smaug: No you didn't!

Bard: (Screams)

Galadriel: I'll go and tell everyone that you didn't kill a dragon because you we're scared!!!

Bard: Ugh! Fine! I'll do it!

(At the master's house)

The Master: (Brushing his strands of hair)

Bard: (Knocks on the door) MASTER!!!!

The Master: WHAT NOW?! (Walks downstairs and opens the door) Ugh! Bard, what do you want?

Bard: (Gags because he sees the Master) Um...

The Master: WELL BOY?! SPIT IT OUT!!!!!

Bard: (Kisses the Master and runs away screaming and gagging)

The Master: (Wipes his lips) ARGH!!! WHAT ON EARTH???!!!

Bard: (Runs to Galadriel and wipes his mouth clean with her dress)

Galadriel: UGH!!! GO AWAY!!! DON'T WIPE IT ON ME!!!! (Shoves him into the lake)

Bard: ARGH!!!! I'M DROWNING!!!

Frodo: I'LL SAVE YOU!!!

Everyone: (Cheers) ITS SUPER HOBBIT!!!

Frodo: (Jumps in) ARGH!!! I CANT SWIM!!!!

Smaug: I'll save you!!!! (Flys and crashes into Laketown)

Legolas: ILL SAVE YOU!!!! (Falls off Erebor) OW!!!

Bard: Oh! I can swim!! (Saves Super Hobbit)

Frodo: Thanks!!!

Bard: I DONT WANT ANYMORE DARES!!!!!

Thranduil: HAHAHAHAHAAAA!! THAT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!!!! (Laughs at Legolas) MY SON IS SUCH A LOOSER!!!

Legolas: Thanks Ada...

Thorin: Hahahaha!! Elves are so stupid!!!!

Thranduil: GRRRRRR!!! (Starts hitting Thorin) YOU OFFENDED MY FABULOUSNESS!!!!!

Thorin: (Hits him back) I DON'T CARE!!!!

Galadriel: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!