LOTR/ TH Imagines

Why? -Bofur

Votes are still going on, but I am doing this for FaithLinn and lunawolf8074

Trigger Warning: Cutting/ Suicide

You sat, shaking, in the corner of your room. Nobody loves you, nobody cares. Tears streamed down your cheeks and plopped soundlessly onto your kness, which were pulled uncomfortably up to your chin. You looked down with blurred eyes to look at your arms. Scars of old were littered around them, your fingers were practically itching to grab hold of your knife and cut deeper and deeper...

Your boyfriend Bofur was out, probably drinking with the Company. Erebor had been reclaimed and full again, but somehow you felt empty. Nobody was there to comfort you and your feelings of despair, you slowly stood up and went to grab your blade.

Taking the handle of the knife, you positioned the point to your arm and pressed down against your cold skin. With a slight tinge you felt your skin split, but you were used to it. You continued to drag the knife in a straight line, then raised it, watching the blood trickle down your arms and drip onto the floor.

Tears continued to flow and silent sobs racked your body, you could barely breathe. Each new cut brought an new comment that was thrown at you.

Fat

Ugly

Stupid

They told you you could barely hold a sword, they told you that Bofur deserved better, and maybe he did... The hate and regret, the scars and memories.

Slice. Slice. Slice.

"Y/N! I'm back!" You heard the door open and the heavy steps of Bofor walk around your room. Cursing under your breath you hastily ("Now don't be hasty") brushed away your tears and pulled down your sleeve. You rushed to grab a towel and mop the puddle of blood beneath you, but Bofur opened the door. "Y/n?" He asked, worry tinting his expression. "What is thi-"

"-it's nothing!" You blurted, standing up so fast you wobbled with blood loss. Bofur caught you in his arms, and grabbed your arm which fresh blood could be seen staining your sleeve. Bofur looked down at you with tear filled eyes, you wanted to say something but you couldn't. You had cut too deep and passed out.

"Oh, thank Durin! You're awake!" You slowly adjusted to your surroundings, you were in the infirmirary and Bofur was sitting at your side. "Y/n, we thought we would loose you." He sniffled.

"What?" Loose you?

"Y/n, what would I do to myself if you had died! Don't ever do that again!" His tone was stern, and you were taken abock by its ferocity. "I love you y/n!" He put his face into his hands.

"Bofur-" You started, reaching over to give him a hug, and noticing your arm was bandaged.

"Don't think we didn't notice, y/n, you starving yourself. I didn't realize that you felt like this though! Y/n, you are such an amazing person! You have great skills in battle, such ones I have never seen before! And don't let anyone tell you you are fat, or- or ugly! You are perfect to me, and I wouldn't have anyone better."

"Oh, Bofur!" You climbed out of your bed to give him a proper hug, you cried. Finally letting it all out in the comfort of another. Bofur leaned down and gave you a kiss on the forehead. You tilted your head up and kissed him softly.

When you two broke apart, he brushed away your salty tears.

"I hope you know how important you are to me, and how important you were when we reclaimed Erebor. Everyone owes you a debt, and if you ever need help, I will let everyone know that."

You snuggled closer together, and for the first time in forever, you finally felt happy.