Reason to Stay Alive

45. Don't Say it !!!!

After few days , The Avengers were on another mission , taking down some killers and rescue of hostages. But in this process, Steve and Natasha trapped in a room , there was no signal to contact to the other team members.

Helplessly, Natasha shighed and sat down leaning against the wall and Steve as well. " I knew it. There is no chance that it having an open way to reach at the exit. "

Steve nodded and glanced around the room ," You passed the Intels?"

She shook her head," No signal. It's been four hours. "

After trying many ways to free from that locked room , all gone in vein. They shighed in defeat and sat down in their previous position. It's been ten hours. Her throat felt dry. And the worst thing was , they couldn't find water.

Time passed like that, it was almost one day since they being locked in that hot metal room. Steve being a super soldier, he doesn't dehydrate that soon. But Natasha's condition worsening with every passing moment.  Steve tried really hard to break the door , and when it felt like nth try , the door flew opened. He breathed in releaf and helped her to stand and walked out of that room supporting her shoulder.

They kept walking through the corridor trying to find the exit. On the way he stopped on his track and turned towards her," Nat , I was wondering , there is a resturant , at east end of New York. So,  if we make it and reached at New York, alive, would you like to ....go out with me?"

She looked at him in confusion then shock, but she covered it ," Let's talk with all our friends, if they are free then why not ?" and chuckled.

" I meant , if we can go ?, I mean just two of us , like a date ?"

She turned towards him with a deadly glare," We are middle of a nowhere , we don t even know if we'll make it alive out of here , and you're asking me on a date ??, It's terrible timing Rogers." And smirked at him. " Don't worry I'll consider it. " Both laughed and moved ahead. She didn't know why she agreed to him. Was she ready to make a commitment to Steve??

They reached at Avengers base in too difficult and the date schedule was long forgotten. They needed immediate medical help and rest for almost two to three days.

After a week , Natasha had that nightmare again. But this time was more scary. She raised her gun straight to his heart. That man was badly beaten and blood was everywhere on his face. " Nat, You know who I am. Who you are. You're better than this. So much better. "

But a dark man whispered in her ear ," He's right you're better than this.  Prove it and shoot him. " Tears dropped from her eyes but she didn't lowered her gun. She wanted to lower it , but she can't. Like some robot. In a blink , she pulled the trigger and that blonde man fell flat on the ground, eyes still opened and looking at her . But the blue shed of his eyes were turning to grey, lifeless. She desperately yelled for him ' STEVE ', in her sleep and sat with a jolt on her bed with cold sweat covered through her body.

A voice rang in her mind once a target of her , who was a red room agent , " your wound must have healed , but the scar stays in your body forever. You must have shows to this world that you have changed but deep inside you're still the same deadly black widow. Clod blood and cold heart. Love is for children."

She squeezed his eyes tightly and walked out of her apartment and headed towards the training room. She punched the bag with as much as strength she could muster. Every innocent soul she had killed in cold blood flashed in her eyes. The innocent scream and blood drops everywhere all that she could see. Mostly , the colorless eyes of ....Steve. When her own hands started bleeding , she went back to her apartment and took a long shower. 

That evening Natasha and Steve were alone at Avengers base. Tony was with Pepper, Clint took Sam, Wanda and Vision for a short mission and Thor went back to Asguard. Lost in her thoughts, Natasha walked inside Steve's apartment.

She found Steve in his old forties military uniform, standing in front of the mirror. She smiled at him," Looking great."

He turned around and blushed being caught like this. " Thanks I gauss?, I was just searching something in my closet and I found this pair. It was the first uniform when I received the mantele of Captain America. "

She walked closer to him and placed her palm over a medal on his right shoulder. " What is this for ?"

" The first mission when , I broke in to a Nazi base and rescued the Howling Commandos. "

Both can hear their heartbeats right now. Both could sence their hot breath. Well...the tension was very high. She placed her palm right above his heart on a medal ,felling his rappid speed . " And ....this one ?"

Her palm pressed more further on his heart and her face was coming close to his . He opened his mouth but nothing came out. He shighed a hot breath," Nat...?" he whispered.

She leaned forward closing her eyes and met with his lips on her. She pushed him to the closet door and kissed him passionately. He was totally surprised but still managed to kiss her back with much passion. He separated himself and mumbled looking at her eyes," I love you ."

That's it. This word she hates the most. Love. Her eyes widened and she pulled away from his grasp ," You didn't mean it, right ?, say you didn't mean it. " She pleaded him .

He mentally scolded himself for blurting like this. She wasn't ready to hear it that soon. But he can't take it back. He meant it. " Nat ....I'm sorry , I can't.... I mean it. I really.."

She cut him off placing her palm on his lips ," Don't say it!!. Dont you dare to say it. " He tried to say something but she pushed him back harder and pulled away from him and yelled at him ," Just don't. Can't you understand??!!" And walked up to the door.

He tried to follow her ," Nat....listen ...I didn't want to say it now....its ..." But she slammed his door on his face and rushed inside her apartment. She closed her door shut and slide down on her back against the door. The flashes of the nightmare of previous night caused her flinch. No she can't fall for him. She can't hurt him anymore.  She can't fall in Love with Steve.

But one this she wasn't ready to admit that she already fallen in love with him.

----------------------------------------------------------

Steve couldn't hold back his emotions. What will be her next step?

💗ROMANOGERS💗