Leopika Oneshots

Late Night Conversations

Kurapika POV

"You're ridiculous." I mumbled.

"Baby I was just joking." Leorio laughed, "I didn't mean it."

I sighed, "It still hurt my feelings..."

Leorio smiled, "You aren't that short, just five six, no worries."

"I'm five seven excuse you."

"Yeah maybe with those custom platforms shoes."

"The jokes over Leorio! I'm almost average height, I don't wanna hear it from a fucking giraffe!"

He laughed, "I'm sorry Kurapika, I'm sorry that I'm tall."

"Suck my dick."

"You barley have one." He joked.

"I will rip your eyes out Leorio whatever-the-fuck-your-middle-name-is Paladinknight." I said.

"Do you want to know my middle name?" He asked.

"No."

"It's Lawrence." He said.

"Wait actually?" I chuckled.

"No. No it's not."

I turned back around, "Will I ever know your middle name?"

"Definitely not, it's private information."

I shrugged, "I'll just ask your dad, he probably gave you some dumb ass name like Faggot or wet-"

"Don't even go there white boy."

"'I was joking I didn't mean it.'" I mocked.

"There's a difference. I was talking about your height and small dick, you were about to call me slur."

"I wasn't going to say it, I'm not a racist...my dad was."

Leorio raised in eyebrow, "For real?"

I nodded, "Yeah, and so we're the elders of the Kurta Clan, from those historical pictures of us you can see no African Americans, Asians, Latinos, Latinas, and etcetera. We're all just white, different ethnicities but the same race."

"Oh my God you're right." He sat back, "That's interesting but at the same time it's...inhuman."

"Tell me about it, this may seem really racist but the first time I saw a person of color, I was very confused and scared." I said, "It's really upsetting to think about."

Leorio slid back a little, "Yeah...um, why didn't you tell me that before we got married?"

"I didn't think it was that important?" I replied.

"That your family was racist? I think that's pretty important."

"Leorio, my entire family is dead."

"Yeah but you being related to racist and being raised around them makes me feel icky...don't get me wrong, I don't think you're racist just-"

"I get it, I get it, if I ever say something that doesn't sound right tell me please." I said.

"I will, probably not nicely though." He said softly, "I'll definitely yell."

"I know you will, you yell a lot."

Leorio nodded, "Yeah I know, I'm working on it."

"I know you are."

"I still wanna throw you into a sidewalk for breaking my phone but I've been letting out my anger by yelling at my dumbass patients and their parents and punching the gym punching bags." He sighed, "You're buying me a new phone by the way."

"Mm, no. I don't have a job."

"You will soon."

I stood up straight, "You're right! I'm so excited! Do you think they kids will like me?"

"Depends, if you're strict, no. If there are homophobic students, also no."

"What's a yes?"

"If you're yourself minus the cursing and bad relationship." He sighed, "Don't be the teacher that talks forever about their divorce."

I raised an eyebrow, "We aren't divorced?"

"It was just a metaphor, don't worry I wouldn't divorce you, I need my green card."

I lightly slapped his arm, "Hey!"

He laughed, "I'm just kidding!"

"You asshole!" I laughed, "I'm going to bed!"

"Goodnight Sunshine."

"Goodnight Leo."