Leopika Oneshots

Corny

Leorio POV

"Leorio," Kurapika called, "I got the mail baby."

Kurapika handed the stack of paper to me, "Here."

"Sheesh...when was the last time we checked the mail," I mumbled looking through it.

Kurapika shrugged, "Last Wednesday I think, I don't know. There's been so much snow, which I thank you for shoveling it."

Kurapika kissed my cheek.

"Yeah yeah, I knew you would probably drown in it short-stack."

Kurapika scoffed, "Rude."

"I'm just joking querido." I chuckled.

I began flipping through the mail. Taxes, taxes, taxes. I sighed and threw the papers in the trash bin.

"Leorio, my sweet husband, what did you just throw away?"

I glanced at him, "Taxes...why?"

Kurapika sarcastically smiled, "Isn't that, oh I don't know, illegal?"

I shrugged, "Yeah but they haven't caught me yet."

"Leorio..." Kurapika sighed, "So I've been married to you for almost a year and I'm just finding out you're committing a crime daily?"

"I mean I'm not technically committing a crime."

"Yes, you are," Kurapika said in a more assertive tone, "All American citizens have to pay their taxes."

"Exactly. I'm not an American citizen."

"Excuse me what?"

"I was an illegal immigrant who they haven't deported yet. Now they can't deport me because I'm getting a Marriage Green Card in a few months as long as you agree." I smiled at him.

"You're only using me for a green card?" Kurapika asked clearly offended.

I nodded, jokingly, "Yeah of course that's why we have two kids, a nice house, some disappearing cat, frogs with hats, and a box under our bed full of sex toys."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Yes, of course, I love you. I mean yeah, I've always wanted or more or less needed a green card but I was just waiting for the right uptight, bitchy, revenge-fueled, blonde." I kissed him on the cheek.

Kurapika scoffed and pushed me away blushing, "You're so corny Leorio!"

"Not my fault that I love you and all your freckles." I began to kiss him all over his face making sure not to miss any freckle.

Kurapika laughed, "Leorio stop before I hit you, you really are corny Paladiknigt."