Addicted ~ Nate Jacobs

Chapter Fifty

I was gonna release this tomorrow or Saturday, but ..... I just wanted to now!

Hope y'all are ready...shit is about to hit the fan!

Enjoy :)

Thoughts were imploding in Nate's head. He was slowly losing his grip on reality, and eventually, he no longer knew what he wanted. That whole prenatal class fucked with his brain. Learning about everything that would happen to Sophie during labour and after? It wasn't exactly something he wanted to spend his time thinking about. Maybe it was selfish of him to be concerned about how their relationship would stand a chance without sex for so long, but it was constantly on his mind.

He never should have had sex with her in the first place. No, you don't mean that. You love her, you - no, deep down he did mean that, deep down he regretted everything. Because then he wouldn't be stuck in this position for the rest of his life. It was a constant battle between wanting to get out and bail on her right now, and then that feeling guilt would creep in, he didn't want to leave them. He couldn't. He didn't want to be his father. Maybe that's what he was so scared of. Being a shitty dad. Would he be a shitty dad? Likely. Unless he really put in the time and effort. But he wasn't sure if he was up for that. Fuck, maybe he did need therapy after all.

He needed to focus on something else for awhile. That always made him eventually realize what the fucked he wanted. He just, needed a bit of space because he felt like he was fucking suffocating.

But, he loved her. He had put her through so much already. So much pain. So much heartache. And the stress he inflicted on both of them. She almost miscarried. Almost. But she didn't. And she didn't miscarry during all the other problematic situations that were thrown at them. She hadn't seemed stressed lately. The baby was super active. So things were good.

Why the fuck was he thinking about putting her in another situation where she had to defend him? Fuck. His head ached. The back and forth was awful.

Maybe he felt insecure? Vulnerable? He shuddered at the thought of being anything less than what he truly was. Powerful. An alpha.

New Year's Eve was going to be a fucking mess. He could feel it. And he didn't know why.

NEW YEAR'S EVE

SENIOR YEAR

Nate knew that morning that he probably shouldn't be going to a party tonight. With his thoughts all over the place, clearly something bad was bound to happen. But he didn't listen. And the back and forth in his mind continued on.

He did two lines of coke that night. Probably not the wisest decision, but he needed to fucking calm down. He was a fucking mess.

His phone vibrated and he glanced at it. Sophie. Likely seeing if he needed a ride. He was still uncertain on whether he would go out or not. But maybe he should go with her so something bad didn't happen? He opened his texts to see what she said.

Sophie
will you need a ride to the party tonight? ❤️

Nate
I'll likely need a ride home

Sophie
well we can just pick you up so you don't have to leave your truck there?
we're picking up kat&jules in 20

Nate hesitated. No, he didn't want to go yet. He needed to go get beer. And maybe take a few minutes alone to calm the fuck down.