Harry Styles imagines + preferences

Both sides now

About a year ago you ended things with your abusive boyfriend and finally plucked up the courage to write music again. Of course it was a struggle, seeing you spent most of your life controlled.

'Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way'

Looking back at it, life felt fuzzy, faded. Every fairytale dream turning into a nightmare within the sadness of your eyes. Every 'I love yous' dancing around your head. Believing that those words were true from his wicked mouth. The aftertaste, like venom when you realised that he loved that feeling of control. He never loved you, he loved controlling you in every painful way possible.

'But now it's just another show
And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away'

Now it's another show. Another concert. You stand still, eyes closed shut as you strum your guitar. Your lips softly whisper the haunting words from Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now. Her word spoken truth to your experience.

Harry stumbled upon this night, hearing your voice for the first time. But he didn't realise how much his heart gravitated towards yours. His own heart aching from painful experiences.

His eyes lock with yours. Soft and caring, encouraging you to continue. For a moment you just stare at each other, feeling some kind of connection. But you quickly look away, blushing. Your voice chokes at the words, tears threatening to fall. Somehow you manage. Barely stable. Body trembling, heart racing. Your eyes lock with his once more, taking in his appearance. The feeling growing in the pit of your stomach the longer you stare. But your enchanted, hypnotised.

'Thank you and Goodnight' you smile, taking a turn off stage.

Your heart begins to explode, eyes closed shut as tears fall. You knew what you were feeling. Love. But it scared you the most. It frightened you. Don't fall, don't love. They'll never love you the way you should be loved. With one shaky breath you walk your way out of the stadium and into the chilly streets of London, making your way back home with an empty, painful feeling in your heart.