Stephen Mulhern one shots

Nightmare pt.2

Tw:Self-harm/ed

Stephen woke up with a start for the second time in the same night he turned to his alarm clock on his right bed side table 4:41 great he thought.He didn't want to go back to sleep he didn't want to see his friends say hurtful things about him he didn't want to relive his old habits that he was craving but he couldn't help but want to.

He made up his mind throwing the covers off of him and getting up.He shuffled to the bathroom where he looked at himself in the mirror and was horrified he had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes itself were bloodshot and hair was a mess.Since he wasn't going back to sleep he should probably get somewhat ready.

He trudged to the shower turning it to the hottest setting and striping his baggy clothing off he walked into the shower instantly feeling the burning pelts of water on his skin thought he didn't mind it.Stephen looked down at his arm blood pouring down his left arm and in the right was a blade he brought it down again and again  watching blood go down the drain.

He was brought out of his own daze when the water turned cold he turned the water off and grabbed his towel that was hanging on the rack and wrapped it around his waist.Stephen walked up to the mirror wiping the fog off of it he looked a little better but the bags were still their,his eyes were less red and his face had more color to it.

As he was drying off he stopped at his left arm where most of the scars were bringing his pointer finger to one of the scars and traced it and that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach was happening again.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he reached for his razor after making his mind up he knew this would screw things up again like the last time.

He was staring at himself in the mirror hating what he was seeing skin with red angry lines on his arms,dark bags under his eyes and his stomach caving in.He looked to the razor blade that he had taken apart and bringing it to the upper part of his thigh and sliced his skin over and over but it wasn't enough the pain was in his chest was killing him so he brought the blade to his wrist and cut.This time he cut to deep he started to feel dizzy then everything went black and then woke up alone covered in his own pool of blood.

He couldn't let that happen again the last time he almost died not that he minds but he couldn't do that to his friends even if they don't see him as a friend he still couldn't do that.Bringing the razor to the upper part of his forearm he watched the blood slide off of his arm and on the white tile floor.

After a good five cuts he was feeling dizzy he will admit he wanted to do more but he had work today and could pass out.After cleaning his cuts and wrapped his arm in bandages he looked at the clock 6:43 he was in their for a long time but it is what it is.He put on his regular clothes adding another jumper he was quite cold after all.

After he was done getting ready for work it was 7:32 he still had a good half of an hour before he was supposed to leave he should eat something but he couldn't he lost his appetite so maybe coffee.

After what felt forever it was time to leave he made sure he had the stuff he needed for today which isn't a lot since it was almost the season finally.He made his way bgt's building he had to push his way into the building because of fans and people who are waiting to register to audition.He knew they weren't their for him but for the judges and the boys yes.

After saying hello to some of the crew he ran into he made it to his office he pushed the door open with a sigh then closing it and turning around to place his stuff on his desk to do some paperwork that Simon needed.

As he was writing some documents there was an obnoxious knock on his door he of course ignored it not in the mood to talk to anyone but the pounding on his door wouldn't stop"Who is it"he said irritated"Mr.Mulhern you are needed in the judges room"he sighed.Stephen really didn't wan't to see them right now heck he didn't wan't to be here.

He slowly trudged to the door his nerves were high he could feel his own heart beating and his breathing was irregular.

"Haha he is such a loser why did you even higher him Simon"David said "Well we needed more content plus the crowd love him why i don't know"he heard Simon say and that hurt."Guys now common i think we all know that he just fits well with Ant and Dec"that was Amanda well maybe she likes him"but i have to agree he is annoying"ouch never mind "Ant Dec what do you really think of Stephen"David said.Well there is hope if Ant and Dec care about him "He's good"Ant replied"Just good"David pushed"look it's not that we don't like working with him it's just he's annoying like you said David and the only thing he is good at his getting us views and making us look better"Dec said and Ant agreed.That was a stab to the heart he felt so hurt by the people who he thought were his friends more hurt by the two who he considered his brothers.

As Stephen approached he heard his name being said and that's all he needed to run,his breathing was fast and he tried to get under control so he wouldn't draw attention to himself but he was failing miserably.He managed to get to his  office shutting the door with a little more force than necessary but that didn't matter he needed to feel something that he knew wouldn't let him down.

His shaky hands managed to grab a pair of scissors and ripped open the sleeve of his shirt and tearing his bandages off he was now realizing he was going to do this now and here of all places but he couldn't stand being talked about behind his back. Especially by people he thought were his friends.

Taking the scissors blade and brought it down to his wrist slicing the skin open.He did that a couple more times before he was interrupted.The door swung open revealing two very shocked boys with horror in their eyes

"Stephen"