Best friends sister (Lexie x reader)

I think... i think

Y/n pov

"You never think that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more. You think you have forever, but you don't."

I hadn't gave it a second thought, not even with Lexie on the phone. I think i was cutting out, she couldn't hear what i was saying. I could feel the shake before it even came down on us, and the two girls. I just dropped the phone and started running, hearing people call after me. Both people how i brought, and the people already there. It all seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be Heroes, just for one day

But i made it, i think. I'm not really sure. The girls are fine, that much i do know. But me, i'm not so sure. You wanna know why? Because when i was getting them out, before the building collapsed, i felt a surge go through my entire body. Like something had struck the back of my neck. But it hadn't stoped my sprinting. Not with the little girl, holding onto her sister in a blanket. I had thrown then both into my arms and just ran. Because no one had made a move to try and help them. I was close. And when i got them out, given them to... someone, it remember making it over to Alex. And then... nothing. It all went black. Or at least i think it went black. Then some blue, and red... and then white, a lot of white. Mixes of blue and orange. Like the sea meeting the sundown. Was i at the beach? I thought the house was in mid-city?

"Sometimes i think i've been cursed. I bring back luck wherever i go. But good luck is when opportunities meet preparation, and bad luck is when a lack of preparation meets reality. So, maybe i just pissed of god so much that i'm never prepared for the opportunities that are thrown my way."

Was it stupid? Was is stupid for me to risk myself to save those two girls? I don't. No one else was going to. And in the third of a second before i sprinted, i imagined telling their parents what happened. That no one even tried.

And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact
Yes we're lovers, and that is that
Though nothing, will keep us together
We could steal time, just for one day
We can be Heroes, forever and ever

I was warm, then i was cold. Then i was warm, but only in a few places. I remember thinking about that day. The one that cut off my oxygen and left me crying, i don't know how long ago it was. Could be hours, could be days, could also be minutes. After awhile, the only colour was white... and a small hint of blue. But i remember thinking about that. The fire, the shooter... the elevator. It was three weeks after me and Mer broke up, because we weren't going to work out. Now i don't even know why anymore.

What d'you say?
I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, forever and ever
Oh we can be Heroes, just for one day

It was a normal day. I was staying late in the lab, with a few more dozen. We were all trying to finish our group projects. But it was only me and Violet, Mer wasn't there, neither was Harriet. Our group of four, but only two were there. At the beginning it was nothing, we all thought it was a drill. I mean, come one, who expects a shooter to come into a university laboratory at ten pm? Later we were told that it was because he was high, then they upped security. But when we heard the first few shots, we knew it was real. I had gotten an idea, an idea that seemed good at first but ended just very badly. For some reason there wasn't a fire alarm we could start without a real fire from inside, it was out in the corridor. So i had taken one of the bunsen burners and brought it up to the fire detector. A bunsen burner produces a single clean, steady, sootless flame of high temperature. And it worked.

"When there is an accident involving fire, in most cases death is caused by the inhalation of the toxic smoak. What we need is air to go to a drive for 45 seconds. I'm surprised that this is not done, and i would make it compulsory"

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing will drive them away
We can be Heroes, just for one day
We can be us, just for one day

Then the first shot through the door came, onto the gas chambers in the corner. There were eight flames in the room. Then the wall and windows we're gone and we were all on the floor. I was somehow in the hall, pulling Violet with me, into an elevator. It locked us in there. For hours. I know the tears i had were burning my skin but i had managed not to burn myself that much, nothing that would stick. But she had, both her legs, her arms, her neck. And the bullet. Lodged into her abdomen. She died there. In that elevator. In my arms. She bleed to death because they we're too slow.

I, I can remember (I remember)
Standing, by the wall (by the wall)
And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh we can beat them, forever and ever

And i remember thinking. I'm never going to see Meredith again. I realised, i didn't want our fight to the be the last we ever did. That i didn't care weather we were sharing kisses over lunch or just walking each other to class. I didn't want to do anything without her. We were Meredith Grey and Y/n Diaz. We could do anything. As long as we were together. That's how i stayed alive, that's how i managed to wake up a few hours later at the hospital. And seeing her sitting next to me, tears in her tired eyes, cheesy stained. And i knew she had realised the same as i had.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for "here's my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.

But she told me. The real time she realised it. Three weeks before me. When she had woken up in our old bed, alone. And i think that knowledge, is what's driving me now. That's driving me to try and wake up. I can't leave her. I can't leave them.

Then we could be Heroes, just for one day
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
We can be Heroes
Just for one day

I can't let the last thing i'd done with Lexie be fight. I can't let Jones be alone, even though Mark would be with him. And Mark, i can't let him be unaware of what i did. Calliope was right, i shouldn't keep it secret. I'm going to forgive Derek for every shitty thing he did, because he truly loves Meredith and she loves him. Then Lexie... my sweet Alexandra Grey. I'll never get to give her the ring i have hidden in the second drawer of Meredith's closet.

We can be Heroes
We're nothing, and nothing will help us
Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay
But we could be safer, just for one day
Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh, just for one day

So that's the deal i make with myself as i lie wherever i lie. I'm going to make amends to everyone, because one never know how much time you're going to get. I'm not letting that be the last time. I'm not. Because i think it's important to take the time to tell the people you love, how much you love them, while they can still hear you. And i'm not done, not just yet. And considering i've never been one who wanted to live, that's saying a lot. And who the hell is playing David Bowie?

Life always gives us a second chance, it depends one us how we make use of the second chance without repeating the mistakes what we have made in the first chance of life.  Sometimes, when life does gives you a second chance, maybe it's because you weren't ready the first time around.

A/n I can tell by the votes and reads that most of you lot either have such a bad sleeping schedule like me or live on the other side of earth. Considering I often post around midnight my time