Best friends sister (Lexie x reader)

Family dinner

Y/n pov

One could say that Izzie's dinner didn't go exactly as planned. Christina couldn't make it, even if she'd wanted to. Just to see it play out. Alex was called in, so was Derek. And halfway through, so was Avery. Leaving the placement to be me, Mer, Derek's empty chair, Avery's empty chair, April, Jonas, Mark, Izzie and Alex's and Lexie's empty chair between me and her. Fine company, i would say. Lexie haven't texted or called to say if she would come or not, but it's still put out if she makes it.

"This is fun" Jonas says, trying to start a conversation over the table. This was such a bad idea. I never should have encouraged Izzie about this. I should have just taken the icecream and headed back upstairs. "Isn't it?" oh, he was addressing it to me.

"Yeah, great idea Iz. The food is really great" but the company, not so much. I feel bad for April, that she was left alone here with us. Well, she has me but still. And Jonas, i suppose.

"I agree" April tries to come into it. It's like i can sense that Mer is about to make an unnecessary comment, so i kick her under the table before she can even take the breath to speak. "I heard you were applying to med-school" it's not a conversation between her and Jonas, an open conversation. But no one tries to enter it.

"Yeah, i am. I want to be a doctor, like Y/n"

"That's adorable. You must be so proud Y/N" now they've both sort of addressed me and i don't have a choice to ignore the conversation.

"Yes April, i'm very proud" but i certainly don't want him to end up like me. Sure, i'm a respected surgeon. But the pain, both physical and mental, i've been put through to get where i am today. It's not exactly easy. Jonas doesn't even know any of those struggles. "But i don't know if i want him to become exactly like me"

"Sleeping with an attending you mean?" Mark asks, trying to make it less... awkward i suppose. I let out a small laugh with a plastered smile. Mer mirrors it while Izzie also lets out a laugh.

"Exactly, don't do that Jonas" i let my smile remain as i meet Jonas own smile. Our father smile... the one from the old photos from when he and mom were young. Before the alcohol and the drugs.

"I'll try, but since it runs in the family i think it'll be hard" my heart flutter as he considered Mer AND Christina family. It really warms my heart. And technically Lexie comes into that category, except that i'm her resident, not an attending. But his sentence causes us all to laugh again, this time more sincere and not as fake.

"Can i ask you something, Y/n?" April asks and i don't let my smile falter, letting a part of my laugh stay on my lips.

"Sure" i answer, simple enough.

"It's just about a rumour that i've been wondering about" oh shit. It doesn't specify anything, since i'm well aware that there is at least eight different rumours going around at the hospital, involving me. Probably more, involving a lot more people. I nod for her to continue, three chairs down at the end. Opposite of Izzie. "A few months ago, or i guess, almost a year ago. There was this pregnancy rumour" and i feel my smile falter, not fully but halfway. "Just something i heard in the hall a few days ago."

"What are they saying?" Meredith asks and i realise that i'm digging my nails into the palm of my hand.

"That Y/n knows who it was and..." she pauses her sentence, looking over at Mark. Everyone is glancing between the three of us. April, me and Mark. I feel like i'm going to be sick. "And that Sloan is the father" Silence... absolute silence. I'm no longer aware of the concept of time, or anyone else's words. Until i notice everyone starring at me. So, through the sickness and the thoughts, i put on my best smile and meet their gazes.

"I can assure you, that is all it is, a rumour. I'm not even sure anyone was actually pregnant" i meet April's gaze, refusing to meet Mark's who's seeing mine.

"But they found a positive test in bathroom outside of the resident lounge" she continues to try.

"April, it could be anyones, it could have been a false positive. It could also have been someone who doesn't work here anymore, or someone visiting someone on the staff." i'm not even sure my words are convincing anyone. I'm not convinced. I hate this. I need to tell them a reasonable explanation, the truth. A half truth, my specialty. "I was seen exiting that bathroom a few hours before they found the test. I wasn't feeling well so i was in there... well, hurling my guts out. Calliope was in there with me. That's why people think i know who's it was. But those bathrooms are hardly used, so it could have been there awhile."

"Why didn't you go home instead?" April asks and everyone by the table knows the answer expect for her.

"I wasn't exactly welcome, we had a fight and i went back to the hospital." and i can almost feel the little dinner i had eaten start to come up. Jonas seems to be figuring something out in his head. He's always been a smart kid, even with his problems.

"Why? What happened?" she's consistent in figuring us out. And i'm going to lash out if i don't get out.

"That's a story for another time April. Thank you for the food Iz, it was great, but i think i should go to bed" it's only eight pm, but i'm really tired and i start early tomorrow. "I got my schedule, i'm starting early and should get in some sleep" i get up and out of my chair. Still refusing to meet the gaze of the one searching mine. "Goodnight, i'll see you all at the hospital and i'll see you for lunch on thursday?"

"Yeah, i'll see you then" i can see it in his eyes. He's figured it out. He figured out my half-truth, the reasons i've forgiven Mark for what he did. You don't get sick are the words that wants to come out of his mouth. But they don't. Thankfully. They all say goodnight as i walk out and into the hall, where Lexie enters just in time. But it's like my body ignores her while my mind doesn't, so i just continue to head upstairs.

"Hun? Are you okay?" her smooth voice comes into my ears and i stand still in the middle of the stairs.

"Yeah, just tired. I need to sleep, early morning" but she stops me by grabbing my hand as i'd tried to continue walking up. I meet her gaze with the same smile i had on earlier. "I promise, i'm fine. I'll see you in the morning"

"Sure, goodnight" and that's that. But i don't make it into our bedroom. First i make it to the bathroom and actually throw up the dinner i just ate. It's actually a shame because it was really good. And then i fall onto a bed. Not my bed... not the common bathroom either. It's Meredith's room. Shit. But i don't have the energy to move, so i don't. I just fall asleep. Nothing bothering my deep sleep, not even when someone slumps down next to me and pulls me in under the covers. Just dreamless sleep.