Dirty Desire 🔞

51. I Am Not Ready To Be A Father

I replied to the kiss… and he kissed me more.. Until we both were too heated under the hot water.. His hands cupped my bare buttcheeks.. And he pulled me in his body.. Our bodies are touching each other with nothing in between other than hot water.. I feel him being hard against my stomach.. And my hand went to his length and I started moving my palm against it.. He groaned at my touch.. 

Yn- tae.. 

Tae- umm??

Yn- can i ask you something??

Tae- ya.. 

Yn-  what do you think about having kids??

He pulled away from the kiss.. And looked back at me.. Concern in his eyes.. And even maybe scrutinising me.. I instantly regret asking the question.. 

Tae- suddenly??
I gulped down.. And I felt myself being nervous..

Yn- i was thinking about it you know.. Like I asked you this before also.. But you didn’t reply.. 

Tae- but now?? Middle of all this?? Middle of me touching you??

I don’t know what answer to give him.. So I try to think of something.. 

Yn- bcz… you know people make babies like this.. 

Tae- what are you talking about??

Yn- like we are having sex.. A lot of it.. So people make babies by having sex.. So.. i asked.. 

Tae- but aren’t you on birth control?? 

Yn- ya.. I am.. 

Tae- so??

I feel frustrated.. I feel scrutinised.. I just asked a simple question.. And he started scrutinising me.. I feel unwanted.. Mostly my baby.. My bunbun.. I feel it is unwanted.. And I moved away from him.. I hopped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my body.. And started drying myself.. I took the bathrobe and put it on.. Tae also came out of the shower and covered himself in a towel.. I was going out of the washroom when he stopped me. 

Tae- yn.. 

Yn- i have to get ready..

Tae- i said stop.. 

Yn- i don’t want to talk.. 

Tae- you have to.. Baby stop.. Remember that is how we resolve issues.. 

I stopped.. And I remember saying this line to him again and again.. And I believe that but just in this case i don’t have any answer to give him.. I just stood straight.. He stood behind me, and made me turn to him.. He picked me and made me sit on the island.. Now I am face to face with him.. I know he can see my red face, which is showing my desire to cry, but I am controlling it.. 

Tae- what happened baby??

His voice is soft.. And he moved close to my face.. And placed a small peck on my left cheek.. 

Yn- i was just asking.. And you got angry..

Tae- i didn’t get angry.. I was just surprised.. Tell me again plzz..

Yn- i like kids.. Don’t you want kids?

Tae- someday.. Definitely.. I want.. Not bcz i love kids or something, just bcz i know you want it.. And I have faith in you that you will be a great mother.. But.. 

Yn- but??

Tae- i don’t have faith in myself.. Bcz it is really tough to raise a kid.. And father’s job is really important.. I don’t think I am a good enough person to be a good father.. 

He looked down in my lap.. I cupped his cheeks and made him look at me.. 

Yn- look at me.. You will be a great father.. I believe you.. 

He smiled.. And gave a small peck on my lips.. 

Tae- and I don't want to share you with anyone.. And I have a feeling, if we have a kid you will be more loving to that thing, not to me.. 

I smiled.. 

Yn- hey.. That is our baby… not a thing.. And I will always love you.. No matter what.. 

He smiled and helped me get down from the island.. I went to the room and tae went back to shower to tame himself down..