Dirty Desire 🔞

120. Waves Of Emotion

When I finished signing all those papers, it was pretty late at night.. As the men left the house, tae shaked hands with them.. I was exhausted with all these things… so i slumped back on the couch.. 

I saw Tae entering the house, and not coming to me.. He directly went to the kitchen… covering myself with the throw in the couch.. He was doing something in the kitchen.. 

Within minutes he came back, with two plates of sandwiches.. And placing them in the centre table, he went back and brought two glasses, one milk and one water.. 

Tae- ynahhh.. Sit up.. Eat.. and then sleep.. Okay??

I didn’t resist.. I just sat up, covered his legs with the throw and took the sandwich… he also took a big bite on the food.. And turned on the tv.. 

We didn’t speak.. Precisely I didn't know what to say… and i expected him to say something, but he isn’t… so i don’t know what i should say..

Yn- tae..

Tae- umm??
Yn- are you alright???

Tae- ya.. I am fine.. 

Yn- are you sure??

Tae- ya…

I ate the rest of the sandwich quickly… and drank the whole glass of milk.. Tae was still slowly eating the sandwich while watching something on the tv.. I looked at him.. He looked normal..

I side hugged him.. He smiled.. 

Tae- what happened?? 

Yn- you are not okay.. 

Tae chuckled- and why do you think so??

Yn- bcz i know you.. Bcz i am your wife.. I know what hurts you, what makes you feel good and bad.. 

Tae- and??

Yn- and this thing is hurting you, and you aren’t sharing it with me..

Tae placed the food back on the table, and sipping the water, looked at me.. 

Tae sighed- what you want to know ynahh???

Yn- how are you feeling??

Tae- about what??

Yn- about everything…

Tae- not good.. 

Yn sighed- that's it.???

Tae- you know I can't share my emotions well..

Yn- yes you can.. With me you can.. You know that.. You have done it many times already.. With me you can share everything.. 

Tae- i cannot.. I don’t know what to say..

Yn- just try.. Say anything.. Don’t hold it back.. I know you are hurt…

Tae sighed- yes.. I am hurt.. I am hurt a lot.. I feel really bad.. Bcz i hated him for this long, my entire life, just so finally when he dies i get to know that all he did was to protect me.. 

Tae paused.. He looked down.. 

Tae- i am hurt bcz of my mother.. How much she suffered, how much she was tortured.. I am hurt bcz my biological father, who was killed by daejung, first used my mother, and then raped her along with some other men.. I am hurt bcz after knowing all these daejung still beat her infront of me.. I am hurt bcz he could have pulled me closer, after my mom died, but couldn’t bcz i saw him hurting me and my mother.. I am hurt bcz i didn’t know anything, while I thought I knew a lot of things.. I am just hurt yn.. 

I side hugged him again.. Rubbing my hands on his back.. His face was red… 

Yn- your feelings are valid.. And you shouldn’t hide it…