Tequila & Birdcages

Hold me, please |a.t|

CW: breakup, insecurities

Audrey and I have worked alongside each other for some time now. Spending endless hours couped up in a trailer on various projects. Our noses buried in scripts only to be distracted by an occasional brush of the leg. I remember how she would peek over the thick packet. Her brown eyes barely showing over the edge of papers.

Her eyes would smile before I could even see her mouth. I would always act like I didn't see her, not playing into her antics. One thing about Audrey though, she's persistent. Eventually, I would fall for it and laugh or she would run her toes up and down my leg to bring it out of me. Then we'd take a break, get a bite to eat, and just talk.

Then she started dating again. I knew Rory had done a number on her and she needed time to recover. I knew her before that and, consequently, got to see the aftermath of it. I did my best to be there for her when she wanted me and luckily she's better. She spends more time on dates now, less on set. Before, she'd just hang around because she could, even if she wasn't filming.

Now, I barely see her even when it's her scheduled shoot days. I know she's been here it's just that she's usually off in a corner on the phone. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong, I just miss my Audrey. I wish there was a way I could explain that to her without feeling—or sounding like an ass. Today I've seen even less of the blonde and I want to just check on her.

I miss seeing her face, hearing her voice, I just miss her so much. I feel like it goes without saying that I may have a little crush on her. But who wouldn't? I mean she's gorgeous, talented, absolutely brilliant, funny... the list goes on and on. So, I mean sure, I may like her a little but I want her to be happy above all else. Even if that's not with me.

I knock on her trailer door and wait a few seconds for a response. Normally, I'd just walk in but I've been knocking to prevent interrupting a conversation or—god forbid—anything further. After not getting an answer, I open it a bit and sniffles reach my ears. I push the door all the way and see her laying on the couch with her face turned towards the back.

"Aud..." I call her but she doesn't move, "Audrey, honey" I repeat as I place my hand on her back. Her shoulders start to shake and sobs soon escape her mouth. My eyes widen and I sit next to her, pulling her body up and into my arms. She holds onto me and I stroke her hair as her head rests on my chest. "Shhh shhh it's ok" I coo and rock her gently side to side.

Her cries die down a little and I hear her taking deep breaths. "S-she dumped me" she whispers and my eyes widen. First of all because who the hell would dump her?! Secondly because she said 'she'... I mean I knew Audrey was into women but she'd never elaborated. "I'm sorry, darling. I know you really liked her" I mutter and she just curls further into me.

"I guess so..." she mumbles as she plays with my hair and sighs. "Did she say why?" I dare to ask, I know something else is bothering her and I assume that's the cause. "Yeah..." she sighs sadly, "you wanna tell me? You don't have to" I remind her. "I'm afraid you'll think it too..." she whispers shakily, "I'm sure I won't" I try to assure her even though I'm not sure what she means.

"She thinks I'm snobby and... she said I'm overconfident. That a woman like me shouldn't be so proud" she chokes out and I open my mouth but she stops me. "It's just—I know she can't possibly know but—I try really hard, y/n. To just... be a good person after everything that's happened. And I guess it doesn't even really bother me that she said that..." she sighs away her frustration.

"I shouldn't care, I know. It doesn't matter what other people think and all but... I do wish that—I could feel pretty like everyone else. Like you... and... I don't know" she shrugs and I look down at her sadly. She plays with my shirt, a small pout on her lips. "Audrey..." I say, "mhm" she hums softly and I see the way she flinches a bit as she waits for my response.

I take her chin in my hand and tilt her head to face me. She looks into my eyes and tears rapidly line her own. "You are... the most beautiful woman in the world, ok? It doesn't matter what she says and I'll always remind you of that. And clearly she knows nothing about you, because calling you 'snobby' is crazy" I scoff.

"The same Audrey that once licked whipped cream off my nose? That always buys everyone's favorite breakfasts on Mondays because 'life's hard'? The one that takes care of everyone but herself? That Audrey? She must be out her mind to call you that" I voice sincerely and she smiles wearily. "Thank you..." she whispers, "no need to thank me, babe" I assure her.

She leans up and kisses me on the cheek, pulling back just an inch or so to stare at me. I swear I see her eyes drop to my lips but it's all in a flash. "Y/n..." she whispers and I can feel her shaky breath against my lips as I nod for her to continue. "Do you really think I'm beautiful?" she asks in an almost inaudible tone and I nod quickly. "I think you're the hottest woman alive" I mumble and she smiles wider.

"So... you wouldn't mind if I kissed you right now?" she whispers shyly, "no, not all. Please do" I reply. Her hand takes my cheek before her lips grace my own. I feel them very lightly tremble as they move with mine but I think that's partially me as well. It's a short kiss as I pull away just a little in shock, blinking rapidly as I try to process.

"I-I'm so sorry I... shit I-" I see her start to panic and my first instinct is to connect our lips again. I kiss her deeper this time, pulling her in and caressing her waist to which she moans softly. I feel her body relax in my arms and I smile before pulling away. "I like it" I promise her and she grins goofily, "I like you" she whispers back. Her chocolate eyes stare hesitantly into my own, a cute little smile on her face as she glances up.

"I like you too" I echo and she sighs in relief, shifting to be even closer than we already are. "I've admired you since before 'Dust' wrapped" she confesses, "that was like... a year ago!" I exclaim. "I know... I was scared you wouldn't feel the same way" she admits, "was my hopelessness not obvious?" I giggle. "Not to me. But, to be fair, I was sending signals too. The touching and smiling... the dirty jokes..." she points out.

"Ok but... you do that with everyone" I remind her and she thinks about it for a second before agreeing. "Still! I never let anyone as close to me as I did with you. So when you didn't return my advances I thought you just wanted to be friends. I hate that I had to date someone else to find out but... at least I have the person I wanted all along" she mumbles happily, pecking my lips over and over.

"Gosh your lips are soft" she whispers amongst other things as she showers me with kisses and I chuckle. "So... what do we do now?" I ask her and she fixes her position quickly. Now she straddles my lap and eases her hips down into mine, placing her hands on my shoulders. "Hold me, please" she whispers innocently and I quirk an eyebrow at her.

"You sure the only thing you wanna do is 'holding'?" I tease, "oops. You caught me" she replies before crashing her lips into mine.