Look at me | SAM x DEENA | FEAR STREET 1994 |

Chapter 14

Deena woke up in cold sweats. She was having a nightmare that replayed the events of last night, and she woke up right before Peter tried to stab her.

She woke with a gasp, and looked over to see the beds on the floor empty. Anxiety rushed in for a moment until she took a second to gain consciousness and she smelled something sweet coming from the kitchen. She got up out of bed to investigate, and Kate was cooking pancakes for them. Simon was eating the pieces out of the pan, and Josh was waiting at the table on his Gameboy trying to distract himself from Kate.

Deena smiled to herself. Simon was shocked when he saw Deena.

"Someone's up early" he smiled back at her.

Kate turned around and smiled at Deena smiling at them. She flipped the pancakes and got everyone a plate ready, and she gave Deena an extra one with extra chocolate chips and syrup. Josh thanked Kate, looking down at the ground and went back to his room. The three of them sat and ate together in silence.

"How are you feeling, Dee?" Kate asked with genuine concern.

Deena sighed.

"I just don't know. I'm scared, I'm angry, but most of all, I'm exhausted. It's only been three days back and I've felt more emotions than I have for the past 17 years of my life."

Kate and Simon just gave a half smiled and held both of her hands tightly. She returned back to her pancakes and shovelled the pieces into her mouth to prevent herself from crying again.

"I know it's still a bit raw, Dee, but can I know what actually happened?" Kate asked with caution. Deena put down her cutlery and ran her fingers through her curly hair and took a deep breath in as she explained what happened to Kate.

Kate was fuming. Her anger rubbed off on Simon and they both began talking about ways on how to get payback.

"Guys stop."

They stopped planning their revenge and turned to Deena.

"We can't do anything at this point. It will only make me look guilty."

"I think we should kill Sam first then." Kate said, not joking.

Deena smiled at the idea of that.

"I just don't know why she would say something like that... like that is messed up on another level." Simon added.

There was silence again. It was a delicate and complex situation. Kate and Simon decided they would stay the entire weekend at Deena's house so that she would feel safe. They left for a couple hours to get a change of clothes and their things for the next two days.

When they left, they left Deena to her thoughts and half eaten pancake. She felt so sick she couldn't finish it, and she loved pancakes. Everything was so messed up, and she couldn't do anything to prepare for what might happen. She didn't think Sam would accuse her of rape, but here she is now. That sweet looking vanilla scented blonde with silky hair that next to her in History has stayed true to the threat that Deena would regret what she had said to Sam.

Deena went back to her room and sat on the edge of her bed. She held her head in her hands and let out a heavy sigh. She was tired. She was exhausted of fighting back and keeping her walls up. Why couldn't people treat her like a human being? Why did Sam have to ever come into her life? Why did she ever talk to Sam?

These questions and more were being replayed over and over in her mind throughout the rest of the period that Kate and Simon had left to go get their things. She knew she was better off not being left alone for a while.

Sam woke up early, forgetting it was the weekend and that she didn't have school. A few moments passed before she remembered the events of last night. An overwhelming feeling of nausea returned, and her mouth began watering.

She held a hand to her mouth and ran to the toilet and bent over it as she threw up everything she ate in the last 12 hours. It kept going for a couple seconds until tears were streaming down her face and she was out of breath and food to puke. She turned over and rested against the wall, trying to catch her breath and combing her hair out of the way. Where did she go from here? Was she even certain that Deena had assaulted Fiona? If she did then why did she run away and look like she had been crying...

Sam's mind was all over the place. She didn't know what to think now, or what to believe. All she knows for certain is that she put Deena in serious danger based on something she wasn't 100% sure about. Was she feeling regret? Surely not. She tried to remind herself of who Deena was. But then the memory of Fiona and Deena at Peter's party started playing in her mind again. Fiona was drunk and was trying to talk to Deena, but Deena was acting cold and didn't want to speak to her. She treated Fiona the same way she then treated Sam....

She felt another wave of nausea, and she turned back into the toilet bowl and continued puking. She tried to reassure herself that everything would be okay, but she didn't believe that. Did Deena really deserve what Sam had done to her?

These questions plagued Sam's mind the past three days, and in response Sam would tell herself the same response. The one that her mother had engrained into her mind since she was a child. That Shadyside delinquents like Deena Johnson won't change their ways. Their poor ways, their destructive ways, and worst of all - their gay ways. She dresses like a boy, and acts like a boy. She replayed this mantra over and over in her head, convincing herself that she was not acting on behalf of her mother but that this is what she really wanted.

Was it?