Look at me | SAM x DEENA | FEAR STREET 1994 |

Chapter 52

It was Wednesday morning and the breeze was beginning to feel colder. Deena woke up a few minutes before her alarm. She smiled at the fact she had actually gotten a good night's sleep without Josh or Sam interrupting her. Sam..

She sat up on her bed and ran her fingers through her hair. Sam, Sam, Sam. That's all she could think about. Where they were, how Deena felt, what would happen in the future..

Deena wasn't sure there were enough hours, minutes or even seconds in a day that would help her understand and answer these questions. Sam blurted those seven words out during an argument. That in itself could mean many things. First and foremost, also the most likely, Sam had just said that so Deena would stop yelling at her or they would stop fighting. I mean it worked - almost. They were in this weird lesbian purgatory; where neither of them wanted to talk to each other and face what they've done but both of them understand that they need to. Neither of them had the guts to do it.

Secondly, and less likely but still probable is that Sam had finally acknowledged her genuine feelings towards Deena, and had realised that she deserves more than to be kept entirely as a secret. But in trying to understand her own feelings, Sam got confused about the extent to which she felt them. I mean there's a clear difference between like, love and in love. Deena felt as though as the latter were more personal, and it was on purpose. You can accidentally like someone, or you can love someone by chance - but to be in love with someone means it was on purpose. You are in that state of love and adoration but it is completely and entirely devoted to that one person. Could that be Deena? She laughed at herself for even thinking that. Sam hated her when they first met, and they fought and fought. It was a game of revenge. Or so Deena thought. She keeps forgetting that there was a slight chance that Sam never genuinely hated her, but was in fact expressing her repressed sexuality an-

Deena had to stop herself. She wasn't a licensed therapist to be able to determine the clinical cause of Sam's bitchiness was.

Lastly, and the least likely reason. Deena didn't even want to give this idea thought, merit or acknowledgement of any kind. That maybe, in some universe, some world, Sam was actually in love with Deena. And not the idea of Deena, she loved Deena, and wanted to be with her. In all ways, and be there for the good and the bad. She wanted to embrace Deena, especially when she wasn't there. Deena just couldn't bring herself to believe this one. She wanted to slap herself before she even had the chance to think of why this reason would be more valid. It wasn't.

With that last thought, she was interrupted by her alarm. She reached over, shut it off and stood up. She got ready, did her routine as usual. She checked in on Josh to make sure her was on time considering he wasn't pulling a usual all-nighter on his computer like he normally did. They set off to school as normal. As Deena separated from Josh, she remembered what class she had first period.

"Relax" she told herself as she walked in the gates. It was only Biology, plus the assignment was over. She got to be with Kate and Simon at their table like last time. All she had to do was successfully ignore one girl. She's done it before. Deena is practically the queen of shutting people out.

She walked into first period, and found Kate and Simon already at the table. They greeted her with a tired smile, obviously still recovering from Monday night. Deena couldn't blame them.

"The one night I try and recover from a party, suddenly my mother is all into me and wants to take me shopping and not let me have a moment to myself, at all" Kate sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"Wow a mother that wants to spend time with you, how badly that must suck" Simon replied back sarcastically. Kate rolled her eyes and Deena just stayed quiet. They never liked to bring up the topic of Deena's mother because they knew how personal it was to her.