Look at me | SAM x DEENA | FEAR STREET 1994 |

Chapter 15

TW: Mentions of r*pe...

That weekend had been the longest 48 hours of Deena's lift since her mother passed away. She doesn't remember feeling vulnerable like this since she died, and Deena hated being reminded of how she felt. It was the lowest point in her life.

Even though she had Kate, Simon and Josh with her every step of the way for both instances, she couldn't help but feel alone and unloved.

They spent the weekend talking about everything and nothing at the same time. They laughed a lot, but most of Deena's laughs were faked. They talked and talked, Simon even made a comment about how he was surprised they hadn't run out of things to talk about. That made Deena chuckle a little.

Little by little her mood was improving, especially when they each shared how they would kill Sam and how they would get away with it. Simon wanted to put glass shards in her juice-box that she has every day, but Kate called it "stupid" and "messy". Kate said she would wait until the next party the cheerleaders were at, and she would slip drugs in her drink and make her overdose. Simon said that it would be "too expensive" and "risky" because people might see Kate doing that.

"I didn't know Sam's hypothetical murder had a budget" she remarked sarcastically.

Josh pointed out how Kate's idea could be smart because she could just say that any witnesses were drinking, smoking, or even had second-hand smoke, altering their memory and ability to recognise situations accurately. They just sat there in silence, and Deena saw Kate turn a deep shade of red after he said that.

The weekend had passed, and Simon and Kate were right by Deena's side when it was time to return to school on the Monday morning. They got up extra early because they had to walk, since Deena had to leave her car at the school on Friday. Deena was hesitant and afraid of what they might have done to her car.

"Forget the car, imagine what they could've done to you" Simon joked, but neither Kate or Deena laughed. Kate gave him a death glare and he stopped speaking for a while after that.

The trio walked to school and Deena could tell they were pretending everything was okay, but felt a tension lingering with them. She knew they felt it too - but Deena was already on the edge and they didn't wanna push her further away. They approached the gates of the school and took a moment to take a deep breath in as they walked in.

Deena couldn't help but feel like everyone was staring at her. She kept her head straight forward, not daring to look at anyone else. Kate, however, did look around, and she noticed everyone was indeed talking and whispering, watching as the trio walked. They stuck together for the remainder of the morning through homeroom. They sat in the back of the class, trying their hardest not to draw attention to themselves.

When the bell rung for Period 1, which was Biology, Deena didn't feel as anxious as she should've, because Biology was the one subject they all had together. They waited for their peers to file out of the room so that they were last and missed the footballers and cheerleaders in the hallways. When they were empty the trio exited homeroom and walked towards the science labs.

When they reached the labs, the teachers informed them that they would be pairing with the other biology class to work on a large assignment together. Deena heard something about resource efficiency before she started having a panic attack once she realised the other class had Sam and her friends in it. Kate and Simon also realised this and sighed to themselves when their teacher announced it.

The teacher asked them to all go out into the large patch of grass outside the science labs and wait for the other class. Soon enough they started piling in, and Deena kept her focus on Kate and Simon, with her back turned to the stairs where the other class was coming down from. She was wishing more than anything that their entire friend group had contracted a serious stomach bug and that they were all absent. But they weren't - in fact they all looked in perfect health, especially when they realised they were in the presence of Deena's class and started searching through the large crowd to find them.

Deena had wished too soon. Although her back was turned, she heard the crunching of grass and the footsteps of about fifteen people, whispering her name, laughing at the way she was dressed or calling her slurs. Simon and Kate stood on either side of her, but since they were at the back, the teachers couldn't see nor hear them. She peaked over to see who it was, and it was the football team. She made eye contact with Sam and immediately turned her vision back to the teachers.

"Hey Johnson!" one of the guys whispered.

Another picked up a rock and threw it at the back of her head, which really hurt but she kept silent as to not draw more attention to herself.

"I think she's trying to ignore us.." one of the girls mocked.

"Because she knows what she did." another girl said.

"Be careful Zoe, you know how crazy that chick is. She might dyke out on you like she did to Fiona" one of the guys joked, causing them all to laugh like seagulls spotting food.

The panic attack subsided when it was replaced with rage. Deena wasn't scared anymore, she was tired, and when people piss her off when she's tired - she gives birth to a new type of rage. One that is all-consuming and limitless. She balls her hands up into fists, digging her nails into the palm of her hand to contain her emotions.

"You can't ignore us forever, dyke" she heard Sheila say.

"Otherwise, one of us might just kill you" whispered Peter.

"That day should be a public holiday" another guy joked.

"Death of the Dyke? Dyke death?" chuckled a girl.

"Lesbo labour day?"

"No that sounds like a holiday celebrating lesbos"

"Couldn't think of anything else worse than that"

They all laughed. Deena was feeling more humiliated by the second, especially since she couldn't turn around or do anything at all. Simon would grab her if she did, or Kate would give her one of those glares that were scarier than any of their threats.

"We might be able to forgive you, Johnson..." Peter started

"If you and Fiona give us a show" he continued.

This comment made Deena extremely uncomfortable, and at that moment, she wanted nothing more in the depths of her soul, than to sucker punch the fuck out of Peter Chernin in that moment.

"I'm curious Deena..." started a voice all too familiar, one that filled her with instant rage. Sam.

Deena heard the grass near her crunching, meaning Sam was walking towards her slowly. There was silence until the last footstep Deena heard her take sounded less than a metre away from here. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She put her head down, trying to block out Sam's touch.

"I'm curious as to which one of us you want to rape next..." Sam joked.

Everyone around them began to laugh hysterically, and the girls were nominating people. Deena felt so dehumanised in that moment - she was not being treated like a human being but instead a gross, disgusting and filthy monster. So that's what she became.

She turned around, too quick for Kate and Simon to stop her. She pushed them back when they tried to hold her back, but as she pulled her shoulder back to sucker punch Sam right in the middle of her stupid face, the announcement bell rung over the speakers.

"Deena Johnson to the principal's office. I repeat Deena Johnson to the principal's office now."