Tim walks into a bar and sees his friend Peter slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Peter what's wrong.
"Well," replies Peter, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Tim with a laugh.
"Well," says Peter, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Tim, "When are you going out?"
"Well I went to meet her this evening," continues Peter, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show."
"Sensible." says Tim.
"So I get to her door," says Peter, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, skimpiest, tiniest dress you ever saw."
"And what happened then?" Tim asked.
"I kicked her in the face." Peter answered.
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
My sister asked me to take off her clothes.
So I took off her blouse.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
"Take off my shoes."
I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and panties."
And so I took them off.
Then she looked into my eyes and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
Quick Giggle
So, I've named my penis Buddha.
Because often when I rub it,
it brings me happiness, peace and mental wealth.🤭🤭🤭
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Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️
HumorAs the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...