In the early days of mixed play in golf, an English couple, an Irish couple and a Scottish couple are at the links ready to tee off.
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee first and as she bends over to place ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Allo! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any!"
The Brit immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of St. Paul, here's 50 pounds. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies.
"Bejesus woman! You've no knickers! Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me!"
He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of St. Patrick, here's 20 pounds. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it.
"Hoots mon woman! Why d'ye have nae knickers?"
She too explains, "You nae give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any!"
The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of St. Andrew, lass, here's a comb. Tidy yourself up a wee bit."
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Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their husbands.
The first woman, smiling smugly, says, "My husband is taking me on a romantic break to the French Riviera for two weeks."
The second boasts, "Well, my husband just bought me a brand new Porsche."
The third shrugs and says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, ladies, we don't have much money or many material possessions. However, one thing I can tell you about my husband is that thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on his erect penis."
After this, the first woman looks ashamed. "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was only trying to impress you. You know that holiday I was telling you about? Well, it's not to the French Riviera, it's to my parents' house for two weeks."
The second one says, "Oh, ladies, I'm just as bad. It's not a Porsche he bought me, but an old, battered Skoda."
"Well, I also have a confession to make," said the third.
"Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg."
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Quick Giggle.
How embarrassing!
I went to the supermarket garage yesterday, getting a sandwich and crisps for lunch and the guy at the checkout asked if I wanted to go for a drink......
I told him I've got a boyfriend....
He said it's part of the meal deal you prick!
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Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️
HumorAs the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
