As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
A priest goes to see his Bishop and asks if he would hear his confession.
"Of course," the Bishop said and took out his rosary, "and what do you have to confess?"
"Well Your Grace I used profane language," the priest says, shifting a bit in obvious embarrassment.
"I understand," the Bishop says. "And under what circumstance did you use the profanity?"
"Well Your Grace I was playing golf and I stepped up to the tee on a par four and I hit what is probably the best drive of my life. Long and straight as an arrow," the priest replied.
"Well surely there was no cause to blaspheme then?" the Bishop said with a frown.
"Well no," the priest said, "but as it flew down the fairway it hit an overhead cable and dropped down only a hundred metres away."
"Ah," said the Bishop. "So that's when you blasphemed."
"No Your Grace," the priest said. "You see when it hit the ground a squirrel popped up, grabbed the ball and started running away with it toward the woods."
"Oh so that is what made you curse," the Bishop said with a nod.
"No Your Grace because just as he was about to get to the woods a great owl swooped down and grabbed him in his talons and started to fly away."
"Okay so that is when you used a profanity," The Bishop said.
"No sir, you see as the owl flew off with the squirrel, the squirrel dropped the ball from the sky and it landed on the green and rolled to just a couple of metres away from the hole."
The Bishop looked at the priest carefully and said, "You missed the fucking putt didn't you?"
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Quick Giggles
There was an earthquake at the Christian Brothers' monastery and it was levelled. All fifty brothers were transported to heaven at the one time.
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said, "Let's go through the entry test as a group. Now, first question. How many of you have played around with little boys?"
Forty-nine hands went up.
"Right!" said St. Peter. "You forty-nine can go down to Hell. Oh, and take that deaf bastard with you!"
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Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A police car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the policeman about all the trees in the road.
The policeman says: "Oh for fuck sake Paddy! That's your air freshener swinging about!"
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