Author's Note ✍🏽
Don't forget to play the video above and listen carefully to the words. https://youtu.be/jcGvgFOAi8s
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
World Finals Farting Championship
Under International Rules of Farting to be held at
The Olympic Stadium, Stratford, London, UK
Ist April 2024
Fart Off: 6.40pm
Final Fart 9.00pm
Dear Readers
The following readers have been selected by our organisation, the Flatulence & Anal Reverberations Trust - F.A.R.T. for short, to appear in the finals of a Grand Farting Competition to be held at the Olympic Stadium, Stratford, East London - the home of West Ham United Football Club. All trip expenses will be paid.
Bhangoo
DragonstoneWinter
tan225
Evan_Binley
JenLai29
kingcat300
chrysty13
@PinkCookieLove
KuroButALittleMonsta
@kpopgirrl
@22Hamilton
Our representative in your area recently had the pleasure of standing behind you either in the queue at a supermarket or some other location and you each gave a grade of above 90/75 on a farting ratio of 20/75. Such a natural, untrained talent as yourselves is a phenomena not to be overlooked, and we hope you will all participate enthusiastically in the event you have all been selected for – The Freestyle Farting Cup.
Referees:
MUSTAPHA BLAST - Former Farting Champion (All Classes) of Egypt and the Lebanon.
DORIS SLICK - Wet Fart Champion of the United Kingdom and the Isle of Man.
Chairman - CLIFFORD POEY – Holder of the World record Duration Fart of 25.5 seconds. (unbeaten after training on Pernod, Duck Eggs, Barn Cakes, Swedes and Mushy Peas)
Rules (to be observed by all Contestants)
When called upon, each competitor will step on the raised platform and must lower His/Hers lower garments on the platform and not before.
He/She will grip the Farting Post. Any grip is permitted, one hand or both.
At the given signal from the Senior Referee the competitor will commence to fart.
A SHIT IS GROUNDS FOR IMMEDIATE DISQUALIFICATION
Grading will be as follows:-
Dry Farts, Wet Farts, Long Farts, Short Farts, Alternating Long & Short Farts, Rip Raps, Bubbles, Blobs, and Squeaks.
The Judges will also take into consideration the quality of the farts i:e duration, strength, pitch, odour, posture of the competitor and the grip used. Cushion Busters, Blanket and Thunder Claps are admissible. Echo Chambers will not be allowed.
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