As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
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An Italian boy goes to confession.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads."
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Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his Bride-to-be is still a Virgin.
His doctor says ... "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit: a small can of Red paint, a small can of Blue paint, and a Shovel."
Mario asks ... "And what do I do with these things, doc?"
The doctor replies ... "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls Red and the other ball Blue.
If she says 'That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen!', you hit her with the Shovel.
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An Italian resistance sniper, fighting against the Fascist Italian Government was with a Greek Mercenary sniper perched in a tower overlooking a city in southern Italy during World War 2.
They had been lying down, silently staring down the scopes of their rifles for what surely felt like weeks at that point, and after a few hours of inactivity, the Greek sniper suddenly said, "You Italians think you are so great. We Greeks invented mathematics. What have Italians ever done?"
