I have a dog and I was buying a box of Winalot dried food in a large food supermarket and was standing in the queue at the till waiting to pay.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack as he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
Stupid cow.........! Why else would I buy dog food?
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Boy 1: "I had the best ever holiday job in Spain. It was in an orange juice processing factory. I had to take all the white stuff, between the orange and the peel, completely off."
Boy 2: "You mean the pith, don't you?"
Boy 1: "Yeah! I was the best pith taker they had."
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Quick Giggle.
There are 23 useless parts on a man's body.
20 nails that you can't hammer, 🔨
2 balls you can't throw, ⚾️🎾
and 1 cock that can't crow.🐔
Don't laugh girls cause your p😻ssy can't catch mice 🐭
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YOU ARE READING
Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️
HumorAs the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
