Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️

Joke 77: Courage.

A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors

The Russian said, "I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors."

He calls a sailor over and says, "Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up."

The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes.

The Russian says, "That, gentlemen, is courage."

The American says, "That's nothing."

He calls over a PO and says, "I want you to jump off the bows. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return."

The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes.

The American says, "That, gentlemen, is courage."

The British admiral says, "That's nothing. Sailor, come here."

The matelot comes to attention and salutes.

The admiral says, "I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to stern and then from beam to beam then climb up the mast and do it again."

The matelot looks at the admiral and says, "You can fuck right off, sir!"

The admiral turns to the other two and says, "And that, gentlemen, is courage."

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

A couple go to the Zoo and stop next to a Gorilla's cage.

Husband: "Tease the gorilla like you tease me."

The wife promptly pulls up her blouse and the gorilla started panting.

Husband: "Tease him a little further like you tease me."

The wife mischievously pulls up her skirt and the gorilla started running and jumping around.

The husband opens the door, grabs his wife and throws her into the cage with the gorilla and says: "Now tell the gorilla you have a headache."

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet to surprise his girlfriend at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?"

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'." 

The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you."

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Quick Giggle,

I asked a beautiful Chinese girl for her number.

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free Sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

Then her friend, seeing the look of delight and expectation on my face, then went spoilt everything by saying, "She means 666-3629."

🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭