As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
✍🏽 Not a rude joke but one that appeals to our daft sense of humour 😂
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both.
What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion's cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.
He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?"
The other lion replies: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
More Giggles
A lady out taking golf lessons and she is doing terrible. The instructor is getting pissed off.
He says to her. "Listen my dear. We have been out here all day long and we haven't gotten anywhere. You are not listening to what I tell you. Let's try something different. I want you to grab hold of the golf club just like you have hold of your husband's penis."
CRACK. The ball goes straight down the middle of the fairway.
"That's amazing," says the instructor, "now take the golf club out of your mouth and we'll go for distance."
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
A teacher said to her class, "Right, I'm going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess what it is. This one is round and red."
Little Johnny's hand shot up, but he was ignored as the teacher knew him to be a troublemaker.
"It's a plum miss," said a girl.
"No." Said the teacher with a smile. "It's an apple, but I like the way you think! The next one is oval shaped and green."
The teacher ignored Little Johnny's eagerly raised hand again as another boy said, "It's an Iguana miss!"
"No, it's a kiwi, but I like the way you think Billy."
Little Johnny couldn't help himself anymore and said, " I got one miss, its stiff, just over an inch long and with a red knob."
"Johnny, that's disgusting!" shouted the teacher in anger.
"Nah," replied Little Johnny. "It's a match, but I like the way you think."
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
This is a genuine ad from 1964 when WD40 was released
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
These days, we can't even handle so many things so how would we get on with this?
🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭
Reader Participation
You can rate jokes by either adding the star ⭐️ emoji or the thumb down 👎 emoji. That way we get to know what jokes you like the best.
Don't forget to hit the 'LIKE STAR' at the foot of the page 🙏🏽
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
