Why, oh why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there Mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
You know that Indestructible black box that is used on aeroplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose‑fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose‑fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!!!
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
What happens if you get scared half to death a second time?
Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Don't they all stop eventually?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
What would happen if you put a slinky on the up escalator?
Where does the light go when the light goes out?
How can I stop payment on a reality check?
If you were invited to a party by a psychic...would you have to RSVP?
Why aren't apartments called togetherments?
If a stealth bomber crashes in the woods, does it make a sound?
Have you ever stopped to think.....and forgot to start again?
When do you use a solar flashlight?
If a word is misspelt in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
How come when you call a wrong number, someone is always home?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
Does that screwdriver really belong to Philip?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
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A Quick Giggle But True Story:
A young 16year old male assistant, working in the Dress Fabric department of Selfridges in 1971, was persistently being approached by women wanting a stiffening interlining for their dress. But instead of asking correctly they often phrased their words badly.
'Where can I get something stiff to go under my dress?' was definitely not the right phrase to have used.
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YOU ARE READING
Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️
HumorAs the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
