As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
Bert and Maggie were a loving Yorkshire couple, together for 50+ years.
Bert had always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he splashed out, put them on, and skipped home.
He sauntered into the kitchen and hollered to Maggie. "Aye up Mags! Notice anything different about me, love?"
Maggie turned, looked him over, and replied. "No, nowt."
Frustrated, Bert stormed off, undressed, and strode back into the kitchen, completely starkers, except for the boots.
Again, he challenged Maggie, even louder this time. "Mags! Notice anything different NOW?"
Maggie looked up, eyed him again, and said in her best deadpan. "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Glowing bright red, Bert yelled furiously. "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, YER DAFT BUGGER?"
"Nah, not a soddin' clue," she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT ME NEW BLOODY BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat, Margaret responded, "You should have bought a new hat Bert.... A new hat!!"
Quick Giggle.
On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.
At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch - that's the village with the longest name in Wales - they stopped for lunch and one of the tourists asked the waitress. "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?"
The girl, with a pleasant smile, leaned over and said. "Burrr... gurrr... King."
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