As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
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"Darling? Why are you trying to reach the ceiling with your legs?"
"You don't understand these things, Carl, it's yoga and this is a position called the candle."
"And does the fact that you just farted have anything to do with it?"
"It's a scented candle.... Now fuck off!"
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Just when I'm losing faith in society I see a little old lady smile and give up her seat on the bus for a pregnant man with a beard! WTF?
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A bride on her wedding night says to her husband, "I must confess darling, I used to be a hooker."
He says, "That's a bit of a shock dear, but I must admit, I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it."
She replies, "My name is Nigel and I played for Wigan."
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My lesbian neighbours recently asked a friend of ours to help them conceive a child.
They said they didn't mind doing it the "old fashioned way" as they were both liberal minded.
Anyway, they have been trying for 6 months now and our friend is wondering if he should tell them that he had 'The Snip' last year!
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When we were young and got told off about our bad attitude and behaviour we just looked at them and replied, 'For all bad attitude and behaviour complaints, please see our manufacturer.'
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Top Tip For The Day.
Save business cards of people you don't like.
If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write Sorry on the back of the card and leave it on the windshield.
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Quick Giggle
As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake!
