As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
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An Israeli, a Frenchman and an Englishman were traveling by train.
When it got hot in their room in the train, the Frenchman opened the window and a fly flew in.
To show his skill, the Frenchman drew his sword and hit the fly with one blow and it split in two.
While the others looked on in amazement, the Frenchman closed the window and took his business card out of his pocket and handed it to the Englishman and Israeli. The inscription said "The best swordsman in France".
Seeing this, the Englishman immediately opened the window and another fly flew in. He drew his bow and threw an arrow, the fly got stuck to the wall. He closed the window and proffered his business card to the Frenchman and the Israeli with the inscription, "The best archer in England".
Then the Israeli opened the window, another fly came in. The Israeli took his knife out of his pocket and threw it at the fly. The fly fell to the ground and after a few minutes it flew back out the window.
Seeing this, the Englishman and the Frenchman burst out laughing and the Israeli took his business card out of his pocket and gave it to the Englishman and the Frenchman.
It bore the inscription, "Fastest Jewish Barber in Israel"
Author's Note ✍🏽 For those that don't know a Jewish Barber is a slang name for Jewish circumciser.
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A priest was walking by little Johnny's house and saw the boy outside eating watermelon and swatting flies saying, "God damn flies, God damn flies, I hate these useless God damn flies."
The priest stops and says, "Nothing is useless in God's eyes Johnny."
Little Johnny says, "If I can name 3 useless things, you have to come swat away the flies with me."
The priest agrees and without skipping a beat Johnny goes, "Balls on a priest, tits on a nun, and these God damn flies."
The priest sat down without a word and started swatting flies..
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