What comes after 69?
A bloody good mouthwash.
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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.
He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 litres of mouthwash. Before he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident and relaxed he opened his mouth wide.
The dentist got close enough and said, "Jeez Man! Did you have a 69 before you came here?"
Kevin, shocked says, "Why, No! Does my breath smell like pussy?"
The dentist says, "No, but your forehead smells like arse!!!"
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Not too long ago I was in maths class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, "I do...." was not the correct answer.
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What do you call an ice cream shop with 69 flavour's?
Nice cream shop.
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Why was Steve fired from his bingo caller job?
Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is not an appropriate way of calling out number 69....
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Author's Note ✍🏽
Writer Robert Duffy wrote :-
There's a scene at the dinner table in E.T. where young Elliot is trying to convince his family of E.T.'s existence. They don't believe him and, tired of his older brother's teasing, he jumps up and shouts, "It was nothing like that, penis breath!"
I wonder if this scenario inspired the writer of this ode to a blowjob?
Penis breath, a lover's dread.
Is what you get when you give head?
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee.
It's times like this you wonder why
You bother reaching for his fly.
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees.
You know you've got a job to do.
So open up and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl.
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
(So when the fuck's he gonna cum?)
Just when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar.
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat.
Salty, fishy, sticky, yucky stuff.
Okay already, that's enough.
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what's your revenge, you're on the rag.
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YOU ARE READING
Shrimpy's Very, Very, Naughty Joke Book ⚠️
HumorAs the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
