As the title suggests this a very, very naughty joke book so if you are easily offended... then this collection of jokes is not for you. Some are clean but the majority are not but the only reason they are in this book is because, rightly or wrongly...
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in various different colours and a Gecko design on his head.
The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.
The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter, grandad, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied: "Got drunk once in Japan and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" Asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" She asks.
"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring outside!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he's told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark.
"Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" Calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" Comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" Asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" Replies the drunk
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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!
The redhead said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!
All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette and red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!
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Quick Giggle.
What is even worse than waking up after a party and finding a penis was drawn on your face?
