I WILL FIND YOU.

Chapter 53: Fool

After dinner Minda and Kai took a lantern and went for a walk through the garden. As they walked Minda felt like they needed to talk.

"Kai, tell me what to do."

Minda's sudden request was unexpected and left Kai feeling confused. He looked down at him with a questioning gaze.

"I know having the General and the soldiers here is difficult for you but I don't know what I can do to help. You need to tell me what you need." Minda demanded. Kai moved in front of Minda and knelt down to look into his eyes.

"I can't tell you because I don't know." Kai honestly said. He had never struggled with such conflicting emotions. Knowing Kai was struggling and there was nothing he could do was painful for Minda.

"Is there really nothing I can do to help?"

"Minda, having you here and knowing you are thinking about me is the one part of this situation I don't have to worry about." Kai said.

"But... I need to do more." Minda said.

Kai placed his large callused hands on either side of Minda's face and pulled him close. He gave Minda a soft fleeting kiss on the tip of his nose before closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Minda's.

"This is enough. It's more than enough." Kai said.

Minda still felt like there was more he could do to help Kai, but neither of them knew what it was. With no other option Minda could only continue to try his best to support Kai. Even if that meant only staying quietly by his side.

...

After their heart to heart in the garden Kai brought Minda back to his bedroom where Auntie Feifei was waiting.

"Young Master, the bath has been prepared for you." She said. Minda turned to Kai expecting him to come along but he had picked up their little snow leopards and walked further away.

"Go enjoy your bath. We'll be here to wish you goodnight when you return." Kai said. Minda wanted to invite him into the bath with him but before he could CaoFang walked in with a change of clothes for him.

"I'll see you soon." Minda sighed as he was rolled away by Auntie Feifei. Seeing the new servant reminded him that he and Kai had to be careful about showing off their intimacy.

...

Kai sat outside Minda's bedroom quietly playing with the snow leopards as he waited for Minda to return. His thoughts were a mess because of the sudden arrival of General Lei and his old comrades.

"It feels like ages since I last saw everyone. Sir looks like he's aged a decade. I hope it's not because of his health. He's always telling us to take care of our bodies but he always forgets to take care of himself. Yanlin on the other hand looks good. Still the same baby faced brat but it feels like he's matured a little since I last saw him." Kai picked up the lazy Xianli and lifted him up into the air. Staring at the cute little snow leopard Kai let out a sigh.

"I miss being with everyone and being able to chat and mess around. Life with Minda is amazing and I'm happy, but the fact that the person I was before is dead has never felt so real." Kai thought as he looked up at the moon. He could hear the distant sounds of his friends packing up and getting ready to go hunting.

"This place is always so quiet. It's nice being surrounding by life again."

Living in the army silence was the enemy. When there was noise it meant there was peace and comfort. Hearing it again comforted Kai in a way he hadn't felt in a long time.

"I love Minda. Everyday with him is amazing and I will fight the gods to be with him.but I have to admit I am feeling nostalgic for the life I once had. I wish I could share that life with my sweet Minda." Kai admitted to the snow leopards.