A Fool's Revenge

Move Along

It's been two weeks and I have been avoiding everybody, even Priscilla. I only go to work, hiding if one of the boys comes in, and going home. I felt ripped apart inside. I wasn't sure about anything anymore. It was my day off and being the lonely person I am, I stayed in bed and watched TV only leaving to use the bathroom or get something to eat.

I was trying to ignore the persistent ringing of my phone but I finally got pissed off enough to answer it.

"What?!" I screamed at whoever has been calling me for the past hour non-stop.

"OH, Feisty. I like it." I calmed down a little when I checked to see who was calling and Danny's name scrawled across my screen.

"What do you want Danny?" I sighed. I didn't want to be mean to him, he didn't do anything to me. Nobody really did but I knew Danny wouldn't bug me about all of my shit.

"I heard that you were a photographer and ours just quit. We're about to go on warped tour and need one so I guess I was just wondering if you're up for it." he offered. Warped starts in about two months, this isn't as last minute but I wasn't sure if I would be totally up for it.

"I'd have to talk to my boss because I'd like to have a job when I get back." I sighed and rationalized this situation; going around seeing the country and doing something I really enjoyed along with being able to listen to bands I really liked would be really amazing.

"Dave will give you your job back no matter what!" he argued and I chuckled. First time I've laughed in two weeks.

"I know but just let me talk to him tomorrow at work and I'll let you know, okay?"

"Nope. I'll call him right now." He hung up and I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. a few minutes later my phone rang again and it was Danny.

"You're good to go, love. When we get closer to kick off, I'll call you to let you know where you gotta go." I could hear the happiness flowing from his voice and it made me smile. I was so nervous too. I would spending two months, give or take, in places I wasn't familiar with and with people I didn't know that well.

"Okay, I guess I'll talk to you then." I mumbled and planted my face to my pillow.

"What's wrong, Jayme?" oh that dreaded fucking question.

"Nothing Danny, I have to go. I'll talk to you later." With my semi-good mood now gone, I hung up the phone and tossed it somewhere on my bed.


I must have fallen asleep because I woke up and it was around five thirty. The only reason I woke up is I could hear banging coming from downstairs. I stumbled out of my bed and groggily answered the door. I saw James and Danny standing before me as I wiped the sleep from my eyes. They pushed their way in and sat down on my couch.

"What?" I griped, not being in the mood for visitors. They looked at me with concerned eyes. I'm sure they saw what I did when I looked in the mirror; I was thinner and definitely paler from the last time I saw them and then I realized I was wearing very short pajama shorts with a tee shirt. I instantly slap myself in the forehead at how stupid I was.

"Jayme..." James sighed as his stare stayed fixed on my scarred thighs. The only one who knew was Mike, I doubt Ben even noticed. Priscilla doesn't even know.

"Don't. I, I'm sorry." I apologized as I ran up to my room and locked the door, sliding down and pulling my knees up. I can't believe I was stupid enough to wear shorts and invite people into my house. They saw and now all they will see of me is a cutter with serious people issues.

"Jayme, please let me in." James knocked lightly on my door. I reluctantly unlocked my door and scooted to the end of my bed, still curled up thinking of how bad this is. I could see him walk in, shut the door behind him and lock it before sitting next to me. He pulled me close and I cried into his shirt.

I let out everything I had been holding in for two weeks into the comfort of James' embrace.

"Shh, Don't cry, love. It's gonna be okay." he cooed and tried to calm my shaking body.

"No, it's not going to be okay. I'm a terrible person." I sobbed out.

"You're a wonderful person, don't you dare think that about yourself" he rubbed little circles on my arm causing Goosebumps to rise.

"I am though. I'm the most toxic person. I ruin people." I snapped. I needed this; I need to just vent it out.

"I broke a guy's heart. He's love me since high school! Fuck, he still loves me and I didn't have the balls to tell him I liked him because I'm not even sure of my feelings anymore. I have single handedly become a whore overnight basically and a back stabbing one nonetheless. My bestfriend probably hates me right now!" I punched the footer of my bed, probably breaking my hand but I didn't feel it. "My life is one big fucking joke." I mumbled and he looked at me sadly.

"You are not a whore; I doubt you ever have been. You need to clear things up with that dude, clearly but I think what you need to do is focus on getting yourself better because you are on hell of a person. I think you're the only female my band has ever been around that we actually fucking like as a person and not as an object to put our dicks in. you're amazing whether you care to believe it or not." He raised his voice to get the point across and it just brought more tears to my eyes. I don't think I have ever hugged someone so tightly before.

"Thank you." I whispered as I calmed myself down. There was no more that needed to be said, he knew that. We both walked out of my room, him still holding me close as we got to the kitchen where Danny was making food. I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest so they couldn't stare at the scars.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Danny said as he placed some pasta with white sauce in front of
me and James.

"I don't know." I mumbled as I twirled the pasta around my fork and pulled it into my mouth.

"I think you should. We're probably the only people out of everyone you're gonna get to know that are totally trust worthy with anything." James chuckled and I cracked a smile.

"It's just such a long overdrawn story."

"So, this is about Mike then?' Danny cocked his eyebrow but didn't look at me.

"Yeah but there's more to it I guess." I chewed on the inside of my lip and thought about it all. It had been so much more than just feelings for each other.

"We can stay all night. We're here to hear you out after all. I mean, everyone is worrying about you and I'd rather go back and say you're fine and not to worry than you not tell us anything." Danny sighed and looked at me through clouded eyes.