A Fool's Revenge

Sweet Dreams

I woke up with swollen eyes from the crying I did just hours ago. I didn't get much sleep but eventually the silent crying wore me out. I tried so hard to stay quiet throughout the evening but it was hard keeping all the sobs in. I didn't want to wake Josh up with my crying because I knew he would be worried if he heard me crying.

I grabbed my eye drops and cleared up my red eyes then went downstairs. I didn't see Josh sitting at the table with his usual bowl of cereal. I felt alone in my house. I made a cup of coffee and sat out in my backyard and it wasn't until then that I realized that it was definitely early in the morning, maybe four or five.

I watched the sunrise. It's something I haven't done in a while. It was so calming to watch the sky slowly fill with vibrant colors then slowly fade into the baby blue that we see every day. We take moments like this for granted; the little things in life that we never take the time to appreciate.

I sat out here until the chill in the air went away and the humidity started to set in. Josh still wasn't up and it was almost seven thirty. I filled my cup up with more coffee and set it down on the counter before hesitantly walking up to Josh's room. I gingerly knocked before twisting the knob and opening the door.

I saw him lying on the bed with his headphones in blasting music. I stood in the doorway waiting for him to acknowledge me but he didn't even budge. I climbed on the bed and copied him.

I poked him arm a few times and he took out one of his headphones.

"What's wrong? Shouldn't I be the one cooped up in my room blasting music?" I asked light heartedly. He let out a little smirk but that was it.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" I looked at him concerned. He looked at me, turned down his music and chuckled.

"I just hate seeing you upset. I hate that Mike does that to you and you still put up with it. I don't get it." he looked at me with blank wide eyes.

"It's hard to explain why. For a long time, I didn't put up with it and I guess now I just, I've had my revenge and even though it pretty much backfired on me, I don't know. I love the kid. I promised myself when I left this town that I would never let someone get me to me like he did back in high school, yet here I am with the one kid that made me feel that way. Love is a very weird thing."

"If he's the one that made you promise that you would never get this upset ever again then why are you with him?" he took his other headphone out and completely turned his music off.

"He won me over. He assured me that he changed and the more I saw him around the more those feelings I suppressed back in high school flooded back. I loved him in high school whether I care to admit it or not." I said as memories from back then flooded my mind.

"So what did he do back then? You've never really told any of us." He asked timidly and a tear slowly ran down my face.

"I was a big time cutter back then. A lot had happened with my family and it was always hard. Throughout school, Mike and his friends would just torment me nonstop. I always ended up leaving early because I got so upset. I would go home and drink until I couldn't feel anything.
I would smoke a few blunts until I fell asleep and the cycle would repeat then one day, Mike came over. We drank and smoked together and for once we were civil. He was such a different person when his friends weren't around. Anyways, we ended up having sex that night and that morning I woke up, it was a Saturday and all I got was a text from him saying 'thanks for last night'. That Monday at school, it was like nothing happened and it went back to how it always was. I was graduating early and every day until I got my diploma, I just listened to music. I didn't pay any attention to what anyone said or did to me and it was so hard those last few weeks to just ignore everything." I sighed.

"Is that it?" he asked and I shook my head.

"The day I got my diploma I walked in, ignoring all of the cruel words Mike's friends spit at me. I got my diploma, shook my principals hand and left. I got to my car and there was a note there. I kept that note forever. I still have it. It was from Mike and it basically said how much he actually cared for me. He came up to my car while I read it. He tried to explain himself and ask for my forgiveness but I shut him down. We ended up screaming at each other and I left. I honestly thought I would never come back to San Diego." I opened the night stand to grab the tissues that were in there and wiped my tears away.

"That's so fucked up. But what are you gonna do? Like he hurt you so bad but you're with him now. I don't get that." He said with a confused scrunched up face.

"I don't know. It's like there's a deadly attraction between us that neither of us can deny. We were told so many times that we would be perfect together. Even by his mom once. That's why his mom loves me so much. I used to hang out with Vic a lot back in his school and his mom would always tease Mike and me saying one day we would get married and give her a lot of grand babies. It used to piss us off so much! I don't even think I get how Mike and I are together." I chuckled but I was hurting right now. Thinking back to my high school days hurt a lot.

"I guess I'll just never understand you two." He sighed.


We didn't say anything for quite a while so I just left him to be alone while I continued to think about the past. Josh was right, how could I be with someone who did such bad things to me? Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe I should have been with Vic all along instead of Mike.
All these thoughts swirled around in my head as I sat in my room with my now cold coffee. It was hard to comprehend what was even going on in my head right now. I felt so tired so I took a pain killer to get rid of my hard-thinking headache and went back to sleep.


I woke up to the vibration of my phone. I squinted at my clock and saw that I literally slept the day away. It was almost six in the evening!

I grabbed my phone and found it was a Facetime call from Jaime. I stared at it for a moment but reluctantly answered.

"Hey Jay! How are you?" Hime said in his calmest voice.

"Okay, I guess. How are you? I haven't heard from you in a while." I said remembering he would send me drunk Snapchat's to stay in touch while he was gone.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Every night has just been insane and all of us just lose track of time." he sighed he looked really sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as soon as I noticed.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" he cracked that insanely charming convincing smile of his. I just glared at him for a minute and he dropped the act.

"Ok, fine! I just needed to know you were okay. I know Mike talked to you last night and I just needed to know you were okay." he blurted with a queasy look on his face.

"I'll be okay. I'm upset but I'll be fine." I smiled and he nodded.

"You are a little fighter after all." he chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"So where is everyone?"

"I had to call when they were gone. Vic and Tony don't know what happened so Mike and I are trying to keep it that way." Before I could speak I heard yelling.

"Shit! I'll text you Jay!" he whispered hurriedly and hung up. I stuck my phone in my pocket and went downstairs to eat because my stomach was begging to be fed.

"Hey! I was just gonna come and wake you up so we could go get food." He smiled.

"You have telepathy with my tummy because it wants Chinese food badly." I chuckled he just shook his head. I grabbed my key and purse before slipping on my flip flops and walking out the door. We drove to the Chinese place and ordered a bunch of food we weren't really gonna eat but everyone loves leftover Chinese so it was all good.

I was starving so bad that on the way home, I actually ate the fortune cookie even though I hate them so much.

"What does yours say?" I glanced down at the tiny strip of the paper and picked it up when we stopped at a red light.

BIG CHANGES ARE COMING IN THE NEAR FUTURE

I said out loud and shrugged it off. Josh looked at me wearily as we pulled into my driveway.

"What do you think it means?" he asked as we unpacked our delicious smelling food.

"I don't know. I never pay much attention to those things." I said as I opened my walnut chicken and mixed it with the creamy sauce that it came with.

We ate and chatted about random things until we were legitimately stuffed.

"Ugh, I'm going to bed. Food coma is on point tonight." He said as he put his plates in the sink.

"Seriously though. I'll see you in the morning." I said with a giggle as I put away the excess food we bought. I made a cup of Sweet Dreams tea before going up stairs to my bed.





I thought about the talk Josh and I had earlier and it really stuck with me. I really had to evaluate my life. I guess I'll leave that until tomorrow though.