A Fool's Revenge

With Love To Give That Leaves You Breathless.

Waking up killed me because it just brought my harsh reality back to the surface. I forced myself out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror. I had lost weight in the past three days, you could definitely tell. I was paler than Casper and I looked so disheveled. I sighed and walked away from the truthful piece of one-way glass before I smashed it.

As I got to the bottom of my cold wooden stairs, I could smell the coffee brewing in the wet air of the morning. I smiled slightly as I walked into the kitchen and saw a little folded up note. It read:
Good morning! I'm sorry I couldn't stay but I'll be over later. I started the coffee before I left so you wouldn't have to wait and I also left you a little something under this note so you can relax. Please take it easy today and if you need ANYTHING just call me.
_Love, Mikey

I welled up at the cute gesture and looked under the note to find a few blunts. I chuckled and wiped the threatening tears away. I fixed my cup of coffee and walked outside with the three blunts, my lighter and phone in my hand.

I looked at the rising sun and how the vivid colors melted together in the sky. I sparked the first blunt and took a long drag. I could feel the tension in my whole body just dim away into the distance. I curled up in my uncomfortable comfy lawn chair and took a sip of my coffee and just as the quiet got comfortable, my phone blasted City Lights signaling that Chris was calling. I let it ring for a few seconds before answering it. I'm sure he as well as everyone else trying to reach me was worried.

"Jesus fucking Christ! Thank god you finally answered! Good to know you're alive!" he half chuckled and sighed.

"Yeah, sorry. I've had a lot happen since I got home." I sighed but smiled even though he couldn't see me.

"Okay, what's wrong with my short stack?" he said bluntly and I rolled my eyes at the stupid name him and Devin came up with when could only eat two pancakes when we went out to breakfast on tour.

"I'm gonna kill you and Devin for that name, I swear." I chuckled and avoided the question.

"Stop stalling." The fucking kid is a mind reader.

"Fine... my... my mom died." I mumbled and felt the dark could start to form again so I took another toke from the rolled up present from Mike and felt it fade away.

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry Jay!" he said and dropped his happy tone.

"It's fine really. I was upset and that's why I didn't answer anyone. I'm a little better now." I smiled inwardly. I did feel better, still sad but definitely better.

"It's fine. That's good that you feel better today, it'll get easier though. Is it okay that I tell the guys? They were freaking out when you didn't answer them or me."

"Yeah, go ahead. I feel bad for making you guys worry." I chuckled and roached the blunt. I set it on the table and took a long sip from my piping hot coffee.

"It's fine, you had a good reason. I just wish you answered me." I could hear the sadness in his voice and I sighed.

"I know but I just needed time to get everything out and even though it was only like two days, I needed it and I knew if I talked to anyone I would just cry and hang up or stop texting and it would've just gotten worse from there." I mumbled the last bit, thinking back to high school and my old habits.

"What do you mean it would've gotten worse?"

"I, I would have just gone back to what I used to do and I know I would have regretted it. You know a lot about my past, Chris, but you don't know everything." I sighed and I could hear him do the same.

"Well, we'll have to have a serious confession night when I come up in a few weeks. I'll tell you everything about me and vice versa. Deal?"

"Deal" I laughed and sparked the second joint.

"Okay, well, I have to go and take care of a few things. Want to Skype either tonight or tomorrow?"

"Okay and of course! Tell Ricky I said he can suck a fat one for blowing up my phone with stupid texts, pictures and voice mails, okay?" I could hear him laugh and the phone rustle around.

"YOU TALKING SHIT, SHORT STACK?!" Ricky yelled through the phone and I burst out laughing.

"Yup! I sure the hell am. Got a problem with it?" I chuckled and so did he.

"Yes, I do!"

"Okay, well here's what you do. Write it down on a piece of paper, fold that piece of paper up really small and shove it." I smirked at my witty come back but I could tell he just rolled his eyes even though I could heard the guys laughing in the background.

"How about I just fuck you and we call it even?" he challenged and I just shook my head.

"You wish Mr. Horror." I laughed.

"You'll want it someday, Brooks, I know it. Love you Jay!" I heard the phone rustle again and a chuckling Chris come back on.

"Okay, well, if you need anything you can call one of us, you know that."

"I know, Mike's coming over later so we might have to keep that Skype session for tomorrow, I have a lot to tell you." I smiled and I could hear the slightest bit of a scoff.

"Mike, as in Fuentes?" he sounded so astonished.

"Yes, Fuentes. Like I said, I have a lot to tell you." I chuckled and so did he.

"Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Jay. Take it easy." I could hear the uneasiness in his voice but he wouldn't grill me until tomorrow.

"Okay, love you, Chris. Talk to you tomorrow." And I hung up.

I, again, took a toke from my blunt and finish both it and my coffee before heading inside to take a shower and relax all day.