Good 4 It

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I watched as the bus roared to life and drove off. It was only five now so I decided to grab my keys and head over to Starbucks to get a quick caffeine fill before going back to bed.

I let myself get absorbed in the morning air and let all of my thoughts consume me. I could feel the heaviness in my heart as I parked the car but I didn't want to cry... yet.

I walked in and since I came to this place so often the barista, Caity, Made my regular order; a Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato. I sat down and waited for my order in the vacant place. Caity brought it to me and sat across from me since no one was in at all.

"Why are you in here so early, Jay? I don't see you till at least ten!" She giggled softly and then looked at my face.

"The guys had an early leave this time, eh?" She asked and I nodded sadly while taking a big sip of my frozen drink.

"Well, feel free to talk it out with your favorite caffeine fiend." She said happily but got up when a person came in. She made their order and came back to sit with me.

"I always feel so empty right after they leave." I sighed and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I forced them to recede with another sip of my drink.

"I know you do babe... But their out there making millions of kids happy once a year, They make you happy all year. You gotta let them go, butterflies; Beautiful and make you smile then they go off, unseen to make another person happy." I chuckled at her strange but nice analogy.

We talked about other things going on and, as always, said we would meet up for lunch but we both knew that wouldn't happen. We always settled for seeing each other in the mornings and chatting between customers.

I said my goodbyes as the shop got more busy and she refilled my cup for free as a friendly gesture since 'I could use it' as she put it.

I made my way home and let the little ones out and gave them food before going back up to my now empty bed and turning the TV onto the news and just cried. I let it pour out slowly. I wasn't in hysterics like I usually was but it was just a slow trickle of sad tears flowing freely down my pale face.



I woke up with sore eyes and a puffy feeling in my face. I could feel the heartache finally setting in as I looked around my empty room. The house felt so lonely with just myself and the animals here. It was just starting to get dark and my tummy rumbled furociously wih hunger. I grabbed my phone and computer and walked downstairs to make something to eat. I filled Mittens and Layla's bowls first and then searched my fridge for something to make.

I grabbed some leftover grilled chicken that I had made last night and pasta with some jarred plain pasta sauce. I sliced and sauteed the chicken with a little bit of garlic and butter while I heated up the sauce and adding some herbs and spices to give it a little more flavor. when the pasta was done, I mixed it all together and sat in the living room to eat. I had left the sliding glass doors to the backyard open when I had come home so I closed those and Mittens came to snuggle up next to me while Layla played with one of her toys on the floor.

I finished up and washed the handful of dishes in the sink before going to sit back down. I opened up my computer to start editing a few pictures that I had taken while the guys were gone but when I opened the photo album my phone vibrated.

Twinskii!:
Hey Jayy! I'm back in town and I was wondering if you wanted to go out and get drinks, catch up and whatever? xx


I smiled at Priscilla's text and quickly replied a big yes. I hadn't seen her in quite a while and I was exited to see my siter from another mister again. I knew she had to of had some great stories to tell and to tell them over drinks sounded perfect.

I went upstairs to get a little more fancy to go out for the first time today. I was actually glad to have her text me. I hated the first few nights of the guys being gone. It was always just so unusual to not have them raiding my fridge and liquor cabinet or have them just chilling on my couch when I got home from work.

I finished getting ready and closed the kids in their homes until I got home. I called an Uber to get me because I definitely didn't want to drive tonight. The driver pulled up and I told him which bar to go to and when we arrived I felt an incredible surge of happiness swirl through me when I saw Pris standing there staring down at her phone. I paid the driver and tpped her on the shoulder, scaring her just enough to make her jump.

"Ahh!" she said happily and gave me a hug.

"I missed you so much! You look great!" I said happily, commenting on her now shorter highlighted hair and slimmer toned waist. She did a little tirl and smiled.

"And you, Girl get it!" I blushed and wiggled my hips a bit. We both burst into laughter and walked into the bar and grabbed a booth near the back.

"So, How have you been?" I asked taking a small sip of my Jack and Coke. I wanted to lsten to all of her stories.

"Eh, Good. Same shit, different day... ya know?" I glared at her and she just smirked.

"Fine, I'm so good, Jay. I can't believe how well everything is working for me right now." She said with a smile but I could tell something was a little off with her. I didn't want to bum out the mood though. "How are you? I heard the guys just left today." She said with a half sad face and a sip to her Grey Goose.

"Eh, I'm fine. I'm not too beat up about it. I love the guys but it's nice to have the house nice and quiet again." I said, lying straight to her face. I played it off well because she smiled.

"Yeah, I know how you love your quiet and to just relax all by your lonesome. Just so you know, I'll be home for a while this time. I'm not leaving until Warped this time so we can spend some serious time together!" She smiled excitedly and I did too.


We chatted and drank for a while, until just before the bar closed. It was nice just hanging out and catching up with her. Every time we're apart and don't talk for a while, when we come back to each other, it's like nothing has changed and we just get back into the swing of things again.

We hugged goodbye and got into our separate Ubers to go home. I smiled happily to myself just thinking about how perfect her timing was. The guys leave and she comes home. I had her to hang out with the whole time the guys were gone along with Damon and his friends who I usually went to hang out with on the weekends. I was excited for this month that they would be gone because I knew that I would be okay. I would have my good friends with me for the really bad days and the really good days.

I was a lucky girl to have friends as great as the ones I do. I really don't know what I would do without them.



Answer: I would probably be six feet into the earth right now.

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