A Fool's Revenge

Some Days, They Taste Like Lemonade. Some Days Just Feel Like Razor Blades.

I stepped onto the bus and stood on the edge of Ben's bunk and searched my bags for my jacket. It was a zip up I had ordered from Key Street a long time ago but I loved it so much that I had kept it all these years. I zipped up my bag and turned to walk out again. I was almost knocked over by someone standing right in front of me. It was Mike.

"I'm sorry." I was so sick of hearing it. I was sick of hearing him apologize then hurt me over and over again. He was the player and I was the game for so long, it's time for the tables turn.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it." I raised my hand and tried to walk past him but he got a good grip on my arm and wouldn't let go.

"What the fuck, Jayme? Why do you always just fucking blow me off like this?" he asked bitterly. I looked at him like he was the most ignorant person in the room because he was.

"Are you fucking serious right now? Mike, look at where we are and what you're doing. You're holding my arm to the point where it's gonna bruise and bitching because I don't want you. You clearly just don't get the fact that, yea, maybe I still like you a lot but you're seriously ruining every chance you have with me by being a little cry baby about it. Get the fuck over it. Move on. Focus on your music for fucks sake! Do something other than obsess over whether I'm gonna get with you or not. Jesus fucking Christ!" I yanked my arm away from him and shoved him out of my way. I could feel the angry tears welling up in my eyes as I sat down back next to Chris.

"Jay, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked and I soon got questioning looks from him, Ricky and Priscilla.

"Nothing." I mumbled with a straight pissed off face and grabbed my drink from his hand and downed it. I got up and walked over to the drink table to get another one, this time much stronger. I feel like every time I want to have a good night, someone always fucking ruins it.

"Come on, let's go for a walk." I felt a hand on my shoulder and I sighed, more annoyed than happy to see it was Chris. I loved the kid to death but he really pushed to get inside my mind sometimes. I grabbed my drink and followed him away from all of the noise and chatter.

We ended up sitting on the grassy area of the venue, watching the crew clean and take everything down for the last time. I sighed. I wanted to go home but at the same time, I didn't. I would have to deal with Mike and all of his bullshit along with whoever just surprising me in my own house after a long day's work. I hated it. I hated the thought of having to go home but I loved it.
I couldn't wait to go back to my almost normal life. I now had people to talk to. That was the only real difference. I had people like Chris and Ricky and even Ghost to go to if I needed to smile or even the guys from OMM if I need to hit something. They always had one of those mini punching bags on their bus so I would go there when I was pissed off and if I needed someone to vent to? I would forever go to Priscilla or I would just write it out like old times.

"C'mon, tell Chrissy poo what's wrong." He said in a high pitched voice and I cracked a smile.

"Chrissy poo? I fucking love you Chris." I smiled and laid my head on his boney, but comfortable, shoulder. He smiled and didn't say anything so I just rambled on drunkenly about how much I hated Mike and how much I hated how he had such an effect on me. I told him about what he did and how I hated that he just expected me to pick him over everything and everyone. I just ranted on and on until I felt better.

He wrapped an arm around my small body and pulled me closer. This was a nice thing we did. We knew there was nothing but friendship between us and everyone knew it too. Things like this didn't make me feel confused or weird; it was just a nice gesture between two friends.

"You just gotta deal with him or just punch him in the face like you did to that girl he was fucking a while back. Violence doesn't solve much but it would sure get your anger out. And let me just say, for such a small girl, you have a shitload of anger built up." he chuckled and so did I.

"As much as I want to hit Mike, I would never. I know it sounds so hypocritical but I care too much about him to hurt him physically." I sighed and I saw him shake his head.

"I get that but seriously; the kid doesn't even deserve to be your friend. He is terrible to you." He looked off into the distance and sighed.

"I know, it just sucks what we've done to each other and where we've ended up because of it, you know? We've, well he has always been a dick to me and I still like him. I hate it so much but
I could never see myself just not being friends with him now because I'm good friends with his brother and two best friends." I sighed again and played with the grass because I knew I would get the 'what kind of bs is that' look from him.

"Jayme, I think going home is gonna be good for you, in this situation. You're not gonna see him every day and you'll just be able to relax. I'm sure when I call you up in another month to come visit that you'll have this all sorted and feel a lot better. Touring is definitely not for you, this kind of tour at least." I looked at him in a mix of confusion and respect. I always liked that he told me nothing but the truth, good or bad.

"I mean that you coming into this not knowing how you feel about two guys and having to see them every day and not being able to have a good amount of time on your own to figure it out, it just wasn't a good mix. It definitely toughened you up though. I think you'll be fine once you get home. Everything will work out." He smiled warmly and hugged me to hid skinny but muscular body. I punched him in the side playfully and he gasped.

"OW! What was that for?" he laughed.

"That was for being too smart and wise. I'm older than you and I don't even think that clear." I chuckled and started to stand up.

"You're older than me by a few months, Calm down killer." He laughed and we started to walk back to everyone. I filled my cup back up along the way and at this point I was just nursing a cup of straight Fireball. I just stayed quiet, occasionally adding in to the conversation, comfortably hanging out with people I know I won't see for a long time and just enjoying their company. This was one of those times that make you happy that you're leaving but sad because you're leaving all of your friends. All of these people are my friends and I know I would keep up with most of them but I needed to get away from them. Two long months of being with the same people bored me and it was time to go home.


I stayed out for as long as it took to finish my drink before I said goodnight around one in the morning. A lot of the people had left already so it was down to the people who were leaving tomorrow which were only a handful of bands, AA included. I told a few people to find me before they left and even wake me up if I was still sleeping. I tossed my cup in the trash and stumbled up the steps and hopping into my crowded bunk. I shoved my shit to the far side and crawled under the covers.

Tomorrow was going to be so bittersweet.