A Bullet In the Chamber With Nowhere To Go

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"Can you just tell me what's wrong?!" Mike screamed and I coward down and looked away from him. I was at his house just after work. When I didn't say anything he just got furious and punched his wall; leaving a huge hole in it and his hand bleeding. I tried to help him but he just stormed off. I sighed sadly and left his house that he shared with his brother. Vic was just casually sitting in the living room watching TV when I left and I couldn't help but feel betrayed by him. He of all people knew I didn't handle being fucked with well and he goes and pulls this shit.

It had been five days since Ricky told me that Vic was the one who kissed me, five days that I spent away from everyone, three days since the fight with Mike. The only one who knew why was Ricky and he didn't tell anyone.

I felt bad for blowing everyone off but I really just hadn't had time to myself, extended time, since before warped tour. I got calls daily just like when my mom died but I answered them this time, depending on the person. I avoided most people at all costs, all being Pierce the Veil.

Going to work was risky but it was my job and I had to go. My coworkers got worried as soon as I said 'if Mike comes in, I'm not here' he had scared the crap outta me when he was angry and even though I knew he has anger issues sometimes, I can't deal with yelling. I always thought the worst and I hated the fact that he was angry because I wouldn't tell him why I was in such a funk. I didn't want to start a fight between him and his fucking older brother!

I walked into work for another drag of a day and hoped to god that it would go by quick. Much to my avail, it did and before I knew it, I was in my car on my way home. I noticed a car parked by my mailbox and I groaned. Someone had clearly come to my house in efforts to see me. I was glad it wasn't any of the PTV guys' cars.

I walked into my unlocked house to see Ricky, Devin and Chris chilling on my couch with food. Their heads snapped to me, away from The Office, and smiled. I rolled my eyes and went to the kitchen for a drink. I had also been drinking quite a bit more than usual. I walked back out and sat in my chair and took a sip from my drink. They all watched me carefully as I set my drink on the small table.

"So why did you break into my house?" I asked when they didn't speak.

"We're stealing you for the night." Chris said simply and I just looked at him as I took another sip from my drink.

"We're going to a party and you need to apparently get your mind off things, so Ricky says, so you're coming with us." Devin added and I nodded my head.

"And if I say no?"

"You're coming." Ricky said bluntly and pointed to the stairs. "Go get ready." He had the slightest smile on his face as he did it. I made my way upstairs and got ready as told. I took my time and sipped on my drink as I did so but eventually one of them banged on my door for me to hurry up.

I polished my drink off, grabbed my shoes and made my way downstairs.

"Are you gonna stare or are we gonna go?" said as I leaned on the couch arm to slip my vans on. I was in a black tight pencil skirt with a deep cut muscle shirt with a rainbow tiger on the front. I grabbed my leather jacket and followed them out the door.

We stopped at their house to get Balz, Ryan and Brandon. Apparently it was a long drive to wherever this party was. Maybe the guys were right; maybe I did need to get out and take my mind off of all the shit going on right now.


An hour and a half later and we were in Los Angeles pulling up to this huge house with music blaring in the background. I looked at them with an unimpressed expression. I simply followed them inside and was soon bombarded by a shit load of people. I quickly felt overwhelmed and grabbed onto to first hand I saw within my little group of guys. The hand just so happened to belong to Ryan. He looked down at me, clearly confused and I know I had this freaked out look on my face. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"Don't be freaked out, we got you." He whispered into my ear over the extremely loud music and I smiled weakly. We finally made our way to where all the drinks were and I found my best friend, Fireball. I wiggled away to get my drink for a split second and magically, all the guys disappeared. I started to panic, I knew nobody here and I couldn't see any of the guys. They couldn't have gone far; I only turned around for a maximum of five seconds!

I sucked down my drink and quickly made another one, stronger this time, and walked around aimlessly looking for one of the guys but came up short. It was dark, the only thing lighting the backyard was tiki torches and twinkle lights. I found myself a place to sit where no one else was and hoped that one of the guys would possibly walk by. I periodically got up to scope the area when I needed to refill my drink but still I found no one.

**

I was rounding my sixth drink and each time the drink got stronger to drown out my fears and worries. It was about eleven and people were leaving. I still hadn't seen ANY of the guys and that pissed me off. So much for 'we got you' I polished my sixth drink and stumbled to get my last one of the night before I went with water. I made this one straight Fireball and found an empty chair to sit in.

I know when I've drank too much because my mind starts to race and goes on thinking about everything wrong with my life. My boyfriend hated me because I wouldn't tell him why I was being weird, my bestfriend kissed me, I'm avoiding my friends and to top it all off I was just a huge fuck up. While in my own fucked up mind, I finished my drink and sat there freaking out and slowly breaking myself down.



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