Jack Barakat Imagines

Melancholy

Hi (: Do you think you could do a Jack imagine where you're his girlfriend, and he looks all happy all the time, and one day you catch him self harming? Just kinda sad then cute and fluffy? Thank you (:

AN I hope this suffices guys. Sorry for the lack of update. I would've done it, but some unexpected shit happened last night, causing my friend to stay at my house. And I wound up going to bed late. But thanks so much for your patience, and I'm trying my best to update as best as I can. You guys are the bees knees, and I wouldn't be writing these if it weren't for the support I've gotten, so thank you. Enjoy, okay? xx

Warning: self harm

Your POV

I was on my way to Jack's house so we could watch a movie together. He told me he hadn't seen Breakfast Club, and I rushed to get over here. I couldn't let my boyfriend wander the streets without having seen the classic that is the Breakfast Club.

So when I pulled up to his house, I stepped out to see him. I opened the door and found him on the couch, frowning. I was confused because Jack never frowned, but I went up to him anyway as if nothing was wrong.

"Hey babe," I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Y/N!" Jack cheered, and he threw me forward so I fell right in front of him. My head was upside down, and he smiled at me, happy that I was here with him. He leaned down to kiss me Spider Man style, and helped me to be upright.

"You ready to embellish on the gloriousness that is the Breakfast Club?" I asked him, my eyebrows shooting up and my tone excited.

"Hell yeah!"

"Then let's blow this popsicle stand!"

"Or, you know, we could blow me."

"We?" I gave him a skeptical look, and he shrugged as if it wasn't a terrible idea. I giggled to myself as he played the movie.

Somewhere along the way, I must have fallen asleep since I had just got back from my job when I arrived here. But when I awoke, the TV was shut off and Jack was no where to be found. I stood up, my head hazy from sleep and began looking around. The whole place was dark and it gave me an eerie feeling.

I checked out the bathroom first, but when he wasn't there, I searched his room. I heard weird sounds coming from there, and I opened the door to see what was happening. What I saw immediately just broke my fucking heart.

"Jack?" my voice cracked from sleepiness and pain as I saw his arm dark with blood. The cuts were faint, but they still drew blood. They were in a weird pattern so no one would think twice about it. I know I didn't.

His head whipped around to face me, and his expression killed me. His cheeks were stained with tears, and I wanted more than anything to stop any of the thoughts that were going through his head.

"Y/N, get out of here," he warned.

"No, I'm not going anywhere!" I managed to push through the door and knelt right beside him, my eyes still stuck on his arm. No, this can't be happening. Not to Jack. Not to him.

"You don't need to see this."

"Why the fuck did you do this with me in the house?" I didn't mean to sound like I was attacking him, I just wanted to know what possessed him to think he wouldn't get caught even with me in the house.

"I'm sorry, I'll do it when you're not here instead."

"No, that's not what I want, love." My eyes were welling with tears, and I grabbed for some towels that were near. "I don't want you to do this at all. I don't understand, Jack. What made you want to do this? You were so happy today. You've been happy. All I see you be is happy. What's wrong?"

"Me, Y/N. It's just me. I'm a fucking freak okay?" The tears were streaming down his face as he choked out a sob. The worst sound I could ever hear. It made me want to cry just hearing it. But I already was.

"You're not a freak, love. What makes you think you're a freak?" I was dabbing his arm, and even though the cuts weren't deep, there was a lot of blood. So I took it upon myself to clean it up.

"I feel everything at once. I feel anger and hurt and sad, and there aren't even real reasons to why I feel these things. I don't even know why I'm telling you this." He stopped speaking for a while as he watched me clean his wounds. His self inflicted wounds..

"Were you ever going to tell me you were doing this?" The hurt in my voice started to raise, and I couldn't help myself. All I wanted was for Jack to be okay. For him to be happy. But he basically lied to me about being happy.

"I don't know," he whispered and his head fell down. "You know when the basket case was talking about how she felt in that movie? I felt like her. You were asleep, so I didn't have reassurance that I wasn't invisible, and the only thing I knew that would help was this."

I dabbed the towel in water and finished cleaning off the blood, nodding my head. I understood what he meant.

"Y/N?" he asked me timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you hate me?"

"Why would I?"

"For doing this. Sometimes I do it because I like the way the scars feel when I touch them. That makes me a freak doesn't it?"

"No, Jack, that doesn't make you a freak." I really hoped my tears weren't getting into his wounds as I covered them up with a bandage. "You're not a freak. To me, you're a wonderful boyfriend who is willing to do anything for his girlfriend. You're not a terrible person, you're my favorite person."

"But what about when you don't want to have sex with me," he sighed, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.

"Jack," I started, with a half laugh half sob, if that was possible. "When I don't want that, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Sometimes I get tired, sometimes I just don't feel like working hard that night. It's nothing against you. I still think you're attractive and sexier than anyone else alive, okay?"

He just merely nodded, but at least he heard me. He stared at his arm, and his tear stained face was starting to dry.

"Hey Jack?"

He looked up at me in response and bit his lip, probably nervous about what I was going to say.

"I love you. I don't want you to hurt yourself though."

"I love you too," he sighed and tore his gaze away.

I brought his scarred wrists to my lips and kissed them gently. I didn't want him to be in pain. I hated it when he was sad or in pain. But I just wish I knew. So I could do more to help him. Jack scooted closer to me, and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me. I hugged him for what seemed like hours but was probably only minutes.

"Promise me love," I said in his ear, not wanting to make him any more upset than he already was. "Promise me that you'll call me whenever you get the urge to do this again. Because I want to be there for you. To reassure you. To help you. It doesn't matter if it's day or night. Just call me."

Jack nodded as he pulled away. My face hurt from crying, and his probably did too. So I stood up, grabbed his hand and walked him to the bed. I moved him so that he was sitting while I was standing in front of him, between his legs. I'd probably be turned on right now if this was any other situation, but I wasn't. So I took off his shirt, and he was playing Jello Jack, meaning he'd flop around and I'd have to try to get him to do things. I took off my shirt, and moved him so that he was laying down.

I unbuttoned his pants, pulling them off, and doing the same to my own so that we were close to each other when we laid down. I snuggled up under his arm, putting my face in his chest, and he wrapped his arm around me, and squeezed me close.

"I love you for you, Jack. It doesn't matter to me what you think about you, because I'll never believe that you're anything less than amazing."

Jack held me closer in response and he kissed the top of my head. He didn't need to say anything. He's already been through enough. So I pushed myself further into him and inhaled his scent as I felt myself slowly drift off to sleep in my favorite human's arms.