Mourning Skies

Divided Reality

I feel like my head
Is completely divided
Each the opposite
Of the other side
My left side tells me nothing is real
My right tells me everything is
I just wish I could find
A single compromise
I can't even get the two to agree
On something like reality
Or my existence
The only reminder
Is the moments that the numb ebbs away
And little things such as
Watching the sun rise
Taking a picture
That's why I always need a physical reminder
That's why I left scars up my arms
And down my legs
I had to tell myself I was real
And if pain gave me that sense
It eased me for the moment
And I am ashamed to catch the gleam
Of the scars out of the corner of my eye
But at the same time I'm put at ease
Because they are a memory for me
They may not be pretty
But that reminds me
It really happened
And I am learning day by day
To assure reality
Through things less destructive
Even things that are happy
And one day
I won't have to look to my scars
To know that the past happened
One day I will trust my own mind
And I will one day
No longer be so divided