Mourning Skies

Boys Will Be Boys

For the past fifteen years
I have been ridiculed
On my feminine expression
Now I like dressing like a girl
But I also love the feeling I get
When I bind my chest down
And I no longer appear
To have breasts
Now this was my father's nightmare

Oh god
The human with female genitalia
In cut off jeans and messy short hair
Oh god it's the end
Gender expression is more
Than what's in my fucking pants

But that's all that matters to him

I was a sheltered child
Up until middle school
I never heard of the word
Feminist
Now when I mentioned this word
My father's ugly lips
Curled in disgust
As if this word held a tinge
Of sour taste
The reminder that I
His daughter
Had found out the truth

Now he assured me
"Yes women are equal"
But are they really?
I've been constantly pressured
By him and him alone
To care more about my appearance
But god forbid
A boy lays his hands on me
Look at me but don't touch me
No I don't want boys looking at me
Like some damn piece of meat
I want to be looked at
As equal
A friend
Not a walking pair of open legs
Where you can go as you please
And if not I'm prude
Does that make sense?

Today he told me
That sex for a boy
Is his passage to manhood
As if sticking your penis
Into a woman
Instantly flips the switch
From pubescent boy
To strong and powerful man
Tell me the sense in that

I have friends of mine
Feeling so trapped in themselves
Stuck with this role
Of a cold hard unfeeling face
And they find little things
In every day to keep going
But this is not what any of us deserve

This is the mentality
That pushes men into silence
I speak on behalf
Of every man scared to cry
Scared to lie and say with pride
How many "bitches he's fucked"
But the suicide rates of men
Have surpassed that of women
We should not look down on our boys
We should teach them it's okay to cry
If someone calls you a girl
Know that it makes you beautiful and strong
If you want to dress
In flowing robes of red satin
Like the blood you once shed
From the womb you were born
God damn it
Go right ahead

But they say boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Boys will take responsibility
For their shitty actions
Like every other human being
If they're distracted by a low cut shirt
Ask the lesbians
How they handle themselves
In crowded locker rooms
How do I manage
To have such willpower
To restrain myself
From leaping on every naked body
I have control of myself
And so should you

I know a woman's boundaries
If she says no it means no
No means no
Get it through your head
Before she's drunk in bed

Commercials showing skin and bone
Tan skin draped on a shiny car
Ruby red lips dripping
With the fear
There will be a speck of fat
On her body
Setting the example
For every little girl
Who gets uncomfortable
At the mention of the commercials
Her daddy watches
And glances at women
Like a hungry lion
She does not want to be that
She will never be that for you
She will not be some man's fucking meal

But boys will be boys
Boys will be free
From responsibility
No worry if they hit or rape
Or have been hit or raped
Shut into the dark with words like
"Don't act like you didn't like it"
But boys will be boys